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Stress is the shadow of wrong imagination February 6, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Management.
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Imagine this situation: 

You are in a happy holiday mood. You plan to have a joyful day with your family as such you decide to go on a long drive. You start driving your car on a highway where there is almost no traffic. You are tempted to explore the odometer and you press hard on the accelerator. The madness of speed invariably brings obnoxious consequences. As you approach a traffic signal square, you do not stop at the ‘red traffic signal’ but zip past it since there is no other car on either side of the four-way.  All of a sudden you get alerted by the sound of a police car siren. You see in the rear view mirror that the police car is approaching you at a still faster pace. You know that you have just committed a mistake and somehow the traffic police might have taken a note of it. The police car is at a distance where it would soon overtake you and ask you to stop. You feel stress mounting inside. You start imagining the consequences. What if you do not stop and rush at a still faster pace? Oh but the police might ask for more troops to stop me at the next turn! If they ask me to stop, I should obey them, says your inner voice. I am sure I will be fined for trespassing the traffic rule as well as for the rash driving. Oh God, please help me, they should not take me to the police station, I have no wrong intentions for sure. Your heart rate has increased and the effect seen as sweat drops on your forehead. You loose focus on the road and you’re only concentrated on the incoming harassment from behind. By now the police van is almost parallel to you. You have already started feeling very low, restless and insecure. Suddenly what happens is unbelievable for you. The police over took your car and went ahead,  probably they were chasing a different target. Oops, all the while you were thinking that the police was running after you!

When there is ‘terror alert’ announced by the intelligence agencies, the overall administration & police is on its toes. What happened with you in the above illustration was something similar, your mental mechanism was all of a sudden put on high alert. There was a temporary phase of worry, stress and shock for you. Did you realize that all this was fictitious and hypothetical? Nothing of what you had imagined was actually true? You were not the target of the police van and they never intended to put you behind bars. However it was you who negatively extrapolated the imaginary consequences and started palpitating.

Can you get back to the first few words of the above imaginary situation. You were in a happy welcome mood which eventually translated into anxious and nervous state of affair for you. All this happened only because of you. It was you who instigated the negative thoughts in your mental backdrop. The world outside was the same even when you started the day in a happy mood and when you got into the stressful situation.

I share yet another situational example for you here. There was one family which was on to start a holiday tour. They had to board the train at a particular scheduled time known to them in much advance. Due to certain household chores they got delayed to start from home. Unfortunately for them, that day, the train was scheduled to arrive on time. Father – mother and their kids were tight-fisted and had their fingers crossed while they were rushing to the railway station in the car. The angry husband was all the way shouting at his wife & scolding her for being slow in arranging travel preparations. Although they intended to be on a holiday mood their journey started with stress. The poor children were close-lipped somehow wanting that they should be able to board the train. Finally, it was a touch and go situation and they somehow managed to get into the train. Friends, wasn’t it true that even if the gentleman had not behaved in a stressful manner they would have been able to board the train? What actually happened was the head of the family imagined all negative consequences and got stressed out. 

We get exposed to similar situations many times in our daily life. In the process we sometimes unnecessarily invite a lot of stress and sadness into our life. The difference between stress and sorrow lies in the man’s perception. When you think bad, you feel bad. When you start feeling bad, it turns out to be worst for you personally.  Stress is like friction, it is a necessary evil.  Elementary level of stress is in-fact necessary for human being to survive. Stress is an energy & enthusiasm catalyst. It provokes a person to get into action mode and perform. Like you can store only a limited volume of fuel in your vehicle, human body is also designed to store a limited quantum of stress. As the stress grows more than the defined limit, it starts spilling and warns danger. It is our responsibility to disallow stress to walk along our life as soon as it becomes a liability. Finally it is our judgment to decide till what stage we would allow Mr. Stress to walk along with us in our journey of life!

LESSONS FOR EXCELLENCE :

  • Never allow stress to be blown out of proportion because of unrealistic imaginations.
  • Stress is like a small stone found under the shadow of a huge mountain.
  • Invariably stress is created inside the human mind, it should be cured there itself.
  • We should learn to be good to stress and in return stress will always be good to us.
  • A basic amount of stress is must for us to excel in our ventures in life.

 

Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

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For SUCCESS : commitment is more important than speed January 21, 2012

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FROG in the milk pond

Efforts never die

Your commitment is more important than your speed

I retell the story of a few frogs which lived their life happily near a dairy farm. Once while they were in search of food, a few of them inadvertently jumped into a milk bucket. Milk bath was an entirely new experience for these frogs. Eventually they realized that the side walls were too slippery and it was not possible for them to jump out of the vat. They could do nothing but to swim around hoping for some help. They were unaware of the fact that help comes to those who try a way out on their own first.

God helps those who help themselves. Almost all the frogs that

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

In the journey to success, your commitment is more important than your speed.

 Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

Kites fly highest against the wind, not with the wind January 14, 2012

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Lessons from Kite

Kites fly high against the wind

When we see thousands of kites flying in the air demonstrating a kaleidoscope of patterns, shapes & colors, it surely spreads pure happiness and rejuvenation in the air. The galaxy of kites put you in an awe and you think if life could get any better? A deeper look into the sight of kites soaring high into the sky can instigate spirituality and give you lessons in life. It’s really amazing to know what a kite can teach us. If we are open to get lessons, anything around us can teach us – even a kite!  I summarize few lessons that can be driven out of this festival of kites.

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ………………………………………  Ajit varwandkar                                            

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

PS. An appeal : It has been found that some birds get killed by the string of the kite. Request all not to apply sharp edge materials to the kite string. This might harm a bird. Also fly a kite in such open areas where the birds are less likely to fly low.

Is your winning formulae Raw One? October 29, 2011

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                           Is your winning formulae Raw One?

Formulae One and the latest bollywood movie Ra.One are trending as the talk of the date. Both are first time of its kind exposure for many people in our country. Shahruk Khan’s product Ra.One specially caught the attention from marketing guru’s and business analysts. Various marketing genius opined that the release date of this movie was not rightly timed. Diwali is one of the most prominent festival in India and majority of Indian’s will be busy celebrating Diwali. Who would want to watch a movie on this day? There is already an array of opinion available about the movie and I read various reviews on blogs as well as in media news. Some say that the ‘day one’ collection for this launch was below expectation, less than the scoreboard of the movie Bodyguard, while some other’s are confident that the overall receipts would be justified. Diwali holiday is followed by a week-end which should see an exodus to cinema halls across the country. The market strategy to launch movie on a festival day sounds to be good one!

This write-up is not a review on Ra.One but an attempt to explore the winning formulae which makes people succeed in their ventures. Growth comes only to those who …………

………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ………………………………………  Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

Diwali – The sound of success and the light of happiness October 22, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in Jara hut ke, National Issues.
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The sound of success and the light of happiness

The best part of our country India is that it is a land of celebrations and festivals. Celebrations are the most effective de-stressing events. Festivals are events where friends and relatives mingle with one another. These joyful moments add love and commitment to relationships. Children get introduced to the traditions and subsequently the  rituals get rolled over to subsequent generations.

 

A scene which I detest during festival days is that of the heaps of trash lying unaddressed on the streets. Meeta (assumed name of a homemaker) was very enthusiastic about Deepawali celebrations. She had loads of work to do before the festival. Not just the preparation of sweets and purchase of new cloths, major portion of her routine schedule was allocated towards cleanliness & housekeeping. A dirt free home is the wish of almost every family.  Even Meeta had arranged to sterilize her house. While her house was being cleaned all the garbage was getting abandoned into the nearby street. Litter generated inside house got dumped on the road side. This speaks about shortsightedness, “My house should be clean inside it does not matter if there is garbage outside”. Such individuals who demonstrate absolute lack of social responsibility should be condemned.  

Come deepawali and multifarious kind of crackers can be found creating noise pollution round the clock. The fireworks have become an almost integral part of this auspicious festival. It’s no more only the kids who have fun out of fireworks, it’s the grownups who play it more. Not many are aware that as per law it is banned to fire crackers with more than 125 decibel at four meter distance. Further there is a time limit beyond which one is not allowed to fire sound creating crackers. Insensitive and unlawful people do not bother about these rules. One can always expect ear deafening mid night blasts on the festival days. Their enjoyment seems to be more in breaking these rules and less in enjoying the festival.

I really get disquiet thinking how dreaded the new born babies would be in the birth centers or maternities on the day of sound and fireworks. Sometimes there are chances that this cacophony can even hurt a fetus in the womb. As a responsible citizen of this society we should be sensitive to these situations. If there is a hospital around or sick people in the neighborhood we should restrain from using high decibel crackers. The high level of noise generated by the crackers cause immense suffering not just human beings but also to birds and animals. Excessive noise can sometimes even cause hearing loss, high blood pressure or heart attack!

There is one sad angle to these crackers, few of us would know that the firecrackers which we use are mostly made by very young children in the factories. These child labours work under extreme unhygienic conditions and a continuous life threat. Since the substances being handled are extremely toxic many of these children get sick. The repercussions are absolutely fetal for these teenagers.

The fun and joy of watching the firecrackers is temporary. Permanent is the air pollution derived out of these crackers. Before bursting crackers for Diwali think twice and enlighten yourself towards the hazards that boisterous celebrations poses to our environment.  The toxic substances used in the firecrackers releases noxious gases which are harmful to the health of all living beings.  The heavy smoke is particularly harmful for eye, asthma & heart patients. Careless use of crackers in the vicinity of combustible and inflammatory things can cause serious fire accidents.  

It’s worth quoting an illustrious example which I observed last year at the time of holi festival. There was a death in the neighborhood and the families around in the colony decided not to have grand celebrations but limit to a modest event. Only children played with colours in the nearby garden while the senior members of the society gathered at the bereaved family’s house and exhibited their commitment to stand by them even in times of sorrow.

Finally a question to ponder over: what happens on the next day of firing millions of crackers? The streets get clattered with non degradable waste of cracker remains which further harms the environment. Recycling of this waste does not happen for ages. Diwali should be celebrated as a festival of light and not just sound. If at al there has to be a sound it should be the sound of success – a message conveying the victory of good over evil. There should be the theme of purity in the heart and not just cleanliness on the floor. Message here is to celebrate diwali and have as much fun as possible but with equal consideration for everyone and everything around. May the light of hope and happiness spread around this Diwali.

LESSONS FOR EXCELLENCE :

  • Plan to enjoy festival but do respect the well being rights of other people in the society.
  • Cleanliness at home is not enough, one should be clean at hear too.
  • Diwali is the festival of light, not the festival of sound.
  • In the event of fire, extinguish the flame by pouring water. Remember, every major fire is small when it starts.
  • Celebrate Diwali with the sound of success and the light of happiness.

Feedback : Ajit Varwandkar

Email : md@fsindia.in

Don’t stop at Good, Great is waiting ahead October 3, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in Management.
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Suppose you are travelling from Delhi to Mumbai and on the way you reach Agra. You are welcomed by some acquaintance of yours in the midway city. Will you consider having arrived at your destination? I am sure you won’t. While the target is to reach Mumbai, Agra is just a milestone. Apparently this looks like a very simpleton fact. Let me present the same situation with a twist. On your one way from one city to other suppose your car gets a flat tyre and cannot move ahead. Will you declare that the target destination is reached? Not really. You will have to find a way out to move ahead. When on road this might seem easy but when travelling on the  journey called life, it becomes tough to distinguish a milestone from a goal.

Sachin Tendulkar started playing cricket for India at a very early age and it took him a 22 years long journey to be the part of a World Cup winning team. In the meanwhile he created a history of world records.

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

Never confuse a milestone as the ultimate destination on the road to success.

Ajit Varwandkar

 

Email : md@fsindia.in

Why do people kill people? July 30, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in National Issues, parenting, Social Casue.
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PRELUDE :  Recently there was a robbery in the town. The  lone housewife at home was murdered ruthlessly by the robbers when she tried to resist. The thoughts in this write-up originate from this incident.

 

The whole city is sad. The news of a gruesome murder of an innocent house wife has sent shivers down the spine. The bone marrow has curled up and down. It’s not only unfortunate but also unbearable. How can one be so ruthless and so cruel to stab a lone woman at home? How daringly brutal it is. Has humanity touched its lowest ebbs? Are we all not safe and secure anymore?  What about our future generation, will they face more of such instances in their life? Of all why do such accidents happen at all? Is it only a law and order issue? Has this to do with police and administration or humanity and parenting? Many questions pass through the gray area and keep shaking the spirit.

It is important for us to understand the reasons which prompt an individual to indulge into such unscrupulous acts of crime. 

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

 

Ajit Varwandkar

Email : info@fsindia.in

Time Management is not the key to success July 23, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Management.
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Yes, I repeat the title: Time management is not the key to success. I would go ahead and request you also to repeat it with me once again : Time management is not the key to success! I am sure this is something you never heard of before. There is so much of pollution on the subject of “time management” in the world of self-help guidance & trainings. Google it and you will find that content worth lacs of pages is available on time management. Every next book in the management shelf refers to time management on some page. Leading management gurus conduct workshops and seminars on the concept of time management. With so much of a recognition to time management I still dare to demand: time management is not the key to success.

There is an ancient proverb which says : “Inch of time can not be bought with an inch of gold.” 

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

 

Time does not discriminate between living things.  Even the president of a country gets the same quantum of 24 hours which every other citizen gets!

Ajit Varwandkar

Email : info@fsindia.in

Quench your thirst or cut your throat? July 9, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Children n Students, parenting.
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Can you be the friend of your enemy? Think twice? It’s a request – read this question thrice & then answer: is it possible for you to be the friend of your enemy? In most probability you would reply in “a big NO”. It’s comprehensible, how can one befriend an enemy? This is sure shot impossible. Going further here is one more question “When did we first learn about friends and foes in life?” Was it at school or at home or while playing with friends on the playground?

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

Ajit Varwandkar

Email : info@fsindia.in

Papa – are you happy today? June 18, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, parenting.
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One particular day my daughter gifted me a greeting card and demanded a party as a return gift. That’s when I came to know that the day was special for me – it was “father’s day”. Well friends, I confess that I felt a bit pampered as a father. It gave me an opportunity to meditate on my role in this universe as a father and I endorsed this to my kids. I realized that these kind of days viz. father’s day, mother’s day etc. would have been coined by someone who had a vision and realized in advance that man will be required to be reminded regularly about various vital elements of social life, which he tends to forget in the process of observing the vagaries of routine life.

An acquaintance of mine used to spend 15 – 18 hours a day at work. He never knew about the happiness or sorrows of his kids. He did not know the school timing of his children leave apart the problems faced by children at school. Whatever best the moderately educated mother could do to bring up her kids was the only parental contribution made. Father’s role was limited to arranging money for school fee and administrative expenses.  A year back when recession hit the industry, that father lost his job. That’s when he realized that he has a beautiful relationship at home as a father which he never en-cashed! Such an opportunity lost can never be compensated because children ALSO grow up with time!

We lead life as if it is a marathon race. Take a review of it and you will find that each one of us is running. When we run, we forget about everything else. A player when running on the 400 hundred meter track cannot think about his laundry bill! He has to think nothing and just run his way. This is what happens to us in life.  We keep running, sometimes aimlessly on the track or off the track. In the professional world most of the father’s play the role of a boss or a subordinate or a client or a consultant. Workaholic father’s kill their family time at workplace.  They get so much engrossed in their daily chores of activities and professional projects that they forget about their role as a father. The father always compromises & the professional always wins. This fact is hard to realize but many friends have confessed that even when they are playing with their children at home or putting them to bed ( if at all they do so) what runs over in their minds is not the happiness of being with the kids but something else related to work.

Once I saw a shopkeeper who was selling school accessories like school bags, water bottle, Tiffin box etc. There was a lot of crowd in his shop. While the children were clamoring on him to get the items of their choice their mother’s were ruthlessly busy bargaining for their purchase. In spite of all the brouhaha this gentleman shopkeeper was very cool and smiling. I could not resist asking him the secret behind his patience and peace. He said, “Sir when we start from home, every morning we keep a ice cube on our head. We know we need to maintain compose to do business.” I asked, what happens when he calls it a day at night? Shopkeeper “ “The ice melts and I vent it off on my family members!”

Father’s brash behavior at home makes things worse, children learn to make out easily how desperate their daddy is! While the kid is desperate to spend time with the father, the professional is only passionate about his work!  A project which did not take off at work will always mean dooms day at home. The five year old boy who desperately wants to see his dad happy at homes easily makes out that his daddy is miserable. When dad is back home all are supposed to be disciplined and silent as if a dictator has started his parade! Dad earns a forced respect but love depreciates. Communication stops and silence starts entering the family atmosphere. The small girl learns the lesson “father never smiles”!

A story goes round the internet where a child asks his father as to how much money he makes an hour, The father was busy with certain phone call and replies his son just to get rid of him. He says, Rs. 200/- only. After some time the son comes and asks, dad can you lend me rupees 75/-? Again to avoid the child’s disturbance the father throws a hundred rupee note at him. After some time the kid comes back to the father with Rs. 200/- in his hand now.  Seeing him back and this time along with money, the father lost his temper and screamed at the importunate child. “If you had all this money with you, why the hell have you been disturbing me for the last 15 minutes?” The kid had tears in his eyes which he tried to hide somehow, silently handed over a small envelop to his father and ran away.

Father opened the envelop only to find a letter and Rs.200/- in that envelop. The letter said :”My dear loving Dad, Here is Rs. 200/- for you. Can you please spend one hour with me today at dinner?”

The realization creeps in and hurts the busy father. You spend 365 days fulfilling your ambitions and business or work responsibilities. You take loans and build mansions. You spend your days in arranging money to pay back the debt. Commitments & promises at work steal away the precious loved ones from you. And one day you realize you are really missing the real pleasures in life. You did learn to architecture a house not necessarily a home.

I request all father’s to make amendments in their priorities of life. Compel yourself to have a few hours with your family. Re-organise your priorities or else I can honestly tell “at the end of the day you will not be happy dad!”

 Lessons for Excellence :

  1. We celebrate various kinds of days like father’s day, women’s day etc. The gist of having such days to celebrate is to remind us about our social and family responsibilities.
  2. Do not just add work days to your life, try adding life to your days!
  3. The best part of future is that it comes one day at a time, try to live each day, one day at a time.
  4. Happy fatherhood is not about provisioning for school fee or birthday party, but about spending quality time with kids.
  5. Time flies and takes away the childhood of your children, better relish it before it is too late.

Ajit Varwandkar

Email : info@fsindia.in