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You cannot re-listen the spoken words February 15, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Inspirational Story, Management.
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You cannot re-listen the spoken words

A police officer in a city stopped a motorcyclist who was speeding down the cricket stadium. “But sir,” the motorist begged, “I can explain the reason why I was driving fast…” “Will you please be silent?,” snapped the police officer. “I’m going to put you behind the bar until the commissioner is in here at the police station.” “But sir, I only wanted to say that …,” rebuffed the police man : “dear I asked you to keep mum! You’re going to jail and that’s for sure!”  

A few hours later the police officer looked into the innocent eyes of the prisoner and said, “Did you know there is a marriage hall on the way where you were driving so fast? There were children playing near the hall and with your speed you might have surely hurt someone.” The lamenting man replied from behind the iron grill, “Yup, I know it the best, actually I’m the groom!”

Good listeners always give others a chance to speak. They allow the communication to happen.  A good listener has a huge amount of patience. We all might have observed at one time or the other that people tend not to have the patience to listen till the end. You start telling some story and chances are that half way through someone might barge into the communication stating he also experienced something similar once upon a time and start narrating that experience. Not listening is one of the biggest barrier to communication. Anger is the first enemy of good listening while impatience is the second.  Many of life’s failures and tragedies happen because we cease to listen.

Here is one more example. Ramesh’s boss, was known to be a hard task master in office. Once he was instructing his subordinate on some business issue. Ramesh actually had more updates about the subject matter and hence tried to interrupt his boss with that information but was harshly rubbished by him. In spite of his best intervention efforts the facts could not be communicated to his boss. Ramesh was compelled to work as per the imperfect directions of his boss. Eventually the strategy proposed by his boss failed and the plan backfired. The company had to incur loss. A post loss repent does never correct the past. Unfortunately there is no undo command for not listening!  

Those who can listen and comprehend can only be successful in life.  Listening is different to hearing. You ‘hear’ sound which might not make any sense to you. You hear noise, you listen words. Noise might not have any sense while words have the power to move the world! Listening is an art inherited by the wise. It is one of the most primitive arts learned by mankind. It helps individual to connect with other people and the world. When you listen properly you pay attention.

Listening is also about caring. Children grow up and parents grow older, what does an old parent need from its progeny?  A patient listening can many a times ease of high levels of accumulated stress.  You need to be a very good listener if you wish to become a good parent, a good spouse, a good teacher, a good boss or a spiritual person. Listening breeds result when caring follows it because you care only when you empathise with the other person. You can empathize only when you listen properly.

Think of a seriously ill patient lying on the bed by your side. What do you think the patient needs the most? Nothing but an attentive listening is desired by the patient. Just try to recall what did you share with your friend when the friend lost a near and dear one? The friend was upset and very sad, actually crying a lot. At such times and caring ear is what maximum can be offered by any human being.

You cannot re-listen the spoken words, hence it is better to listen it right the first time. When you pay attention to what is being said you actually give the most precious reward to the speaker.  Sometimes inspite of having listened properly you do not get the right meaning of the words. On such occasions one should request for elucidation. You are listening only when your heart is in synchronization with the rhythm pouring in from the ear.

Are you listening?

 Lessons for Excellence :

  • Learn to listen, not just hear or else you might miss out on the essence of life.
  • Always give full opportunity to the other person to speak out before you take a decision.
  • Listening properly is a mandatory ingredient for being successful.
  • Those who do not listen thoroughly, repent later.
  • Each one of us should learn to be a good listener.

Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

Why do people kill people? July 30, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in National Issues, parenting, Social Casue.
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PRELUDE :  Recently there was a robbery in the town. The  lone housewife at home was murdered ruthlessly by the robbers when she tried to resist. The thoughts in this write-up originate from this incident.

 

The whole city is sad. The news of a gruesome murder of an innocent house wife has sent shivers down the spine. The bone marrow has curled up and down. It’s not only unfortunate but also unbearable. How can one be so ruthless and so cruel to stab a lone woman at home? How daringly brutal it is. Has humanity touched its lowest ebbs? Are we all not safe and secure anymore?  What about our future generation, will they face more of such instances in their life? Of all why do such accidents happen at all? Is it only a law and order issue? Has this to do with police and administration or humanity and parenting? Many questions pass through the gray area and keep shaking the spirit.

It is important for us to understand the reasons which prompt an individual to indulge into such unscrupulous acts of crime. 

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

 

Ajit Varwandkar

Email : info@fsindia.in

Master-mind, Master the Mind March 28, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in Management.
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Dear reader, here is a set of 16 close ended questions. Please answer these questions honestly in either YES or NO ……

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

Well, how many YES did you get? In case you got more than 8 YES of the 16 questions above, chances are that your attention is hijacked! By attention hijack I mean the lack of general concentration in life. When this happens one is not able to focus on one thing at a time. This inability to focus & master the mind adversely affects your work, your relationships, study and almost everything that you do in life.

Unable to master the mind is one of the widest spread challenge to mankind today.

In our venture to achieve many goals simultaneously we resort to multitasking in almost every field of life. While driving a car we discuss and think, while attending a telephone call we write an email and also attend a guest, while cooking in the kitchen we simultaneously get into multiple domestic activities!

Ajit Varwandkar
Email : info@fsindia.in

Hang On, Look Inside March 21, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in Life and all, National Issues.
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I am sharing one real life story of a car driver. This is what I observed once on the city main road. A high value car was moving at a very fast pace. While passing by a temple it marginally managed not to run over a flower vendor. Looked like the car driver was not in his proper senses. Coincidentally I and that car were both moving on the same route. A few yards ahead the car wrongly undertook a moving van and made a rash left turn on the road which would take us to the city hospital. I could make it that there was an emergency and may be the car driver was in a hurry to take the patient to the doctor. When it comes to saving life, a bit of rule breaking here and there can be overlooked. I sympathized with the sick person inside.

However what I saw ahead was an eye opener for me. That car did not move inside the hospital but whizzed ahead with full speed making brash horn noise daringly in front of the “No Horn” Hospital zone. There was no regard for the traffic signal’s mourning on the road side. The car was now running on the road to the city airport. Further ahead I saw this car suddenly dropping down its speed and moving very slowly over a large size speed breaker. A double standard behavior was demonstrated by this care driver; while he was driving so carelessly within the city he was extremely careful not to drive fast over the speed breaker!

The individual driving that car was not at all bothered about the safety of the people on & off the road. Neither there was any emergency nor he was drunk. In fact he had no respect for the traffic rules & no empathy for the patients struggling for health in the hospitals. He was though extremely careful not to speed the car over the speed breaker lest the car suspension system might get damaged and it would incur him inconvenience! He seemed to be extremely selfish and socially irresponsible. I thought it was a high value car driven by a value less creature inside!

Many times I had cursed those frequent large sized speed breakers on roads in many Indian cities. But I now realized that simply putting a go slow traffic sign post is not sufficient to inspire an individual to honor the safety & security rights of the people on the road. I have seen it many times; people driving a vehicle prefer not to respect the traffic sign when no one is watching them. With the ever dipping human sensitivity the height of the speed breaker on the road was proportionately increasing day by day. People who are extremely selfish, will stop or slow down only when it would threaten to impact them directly and not when others might get the blow.

Such horrible exposures on roads are not uncommon today. The hopeless person driving that car is not just one example of human insensitivity. One comes across many such incidents at various other occasions in multiple formats. It is said that man is a social animal but the fact is now changing for some people for whom I can say “man is less social and more animal”! (saying this might as well be a disrespect for most of the animals!).

I would like to quote one more road side behavior of unsocial people – ‘peeing on the roadside’. Invariably we find men using the road side for urinal even in daylight. This is so unhygienic and unfortunate. I consider this as a gross disrespect for the ladies and the society. Once upon a time a person used to look for a hide, deep inside somewhere, but now-a-days anyplace on the road side is not a problem. This is not because of the lack of hygiene infrastructure facilities, I have seen people from well to do families shamelessly defecating on the roads even in residential places crowded with families around. For such people the only criterion to release themselves in public area is to ensure that the place is far off from their home. As long as their near and dear ones are not aware of such a public demonstration, it is ok for them to convert anyplace into a urinal!
I have one observation here : with ever increasing insensitivity of such human beings, the majority of good people in the society is getting desensitized. Whatever may be the reason but the tolerance quotient of decent and sensible human beings is ever increasing now a days. Common man on the road prefers to close eyes and move ahead when unsocial people are found creating non sense on the road.

Yet another experience comes when people play colours on the road. Festival of holi is a wonderful way to celebrate & welcome a season change. It teaches us to accept various colours of life in totality and keep smiling. Unfortunately on the day of holi we get to see the weak side of human character. On the day when people play with colours, you will find many people making noise and yelling abuses on the roads! Is this what a festival is meant for? No, but it happens and the only reason why it happens is because people doing such notorious acts feel they have hidden themselves behind the mask of holi colours and as such no one will recognize them! They tend to reveal their true unsocial self!

Friends its time for all of us to Hang On & Look Inside. Generally we do not attempt to even admonish that rash car driver or the person using road side as a urinal or the one abusing on a festive day. Do we? Something within us is changing very rapidly. We have subconsciously started accepting unsocial behaviors as a part of life. We now subscribe to the philosophy that it’s better to be prepared & proactive than to react and raise voice against unworthy elements. This is what we teach our children today. We educate them more on self defense & self restraint.

My understanding is that we still have more than 80% of socially decent & sensitive human beings around us but the balance 20% is a potential threat for the progeny. It’s time we start inculcating social responsibility in our children so that the future generation reaps the fruits of socially sensitive environment. Only teaching vices will not work, we elders have the utmost responsibility to collectively execute “responsible behavior”! Austerity begins at home. We can start teaching social responsibility first by way of demonstrating the desired behavior at home. We will have to make everyone understand that “Character is what we do when no one is watching us”. It is my vehement appeal to our schools, societies and parents to take an initiative in their own capacities to address this issue. A journey of thousand miles starts with the very first step, please do take one step in this direction. This write-up is my first step, I invite all of you to join here and convert this attempt into a social movement.

Ajit Varwandkar
Contact : info@fsindia.in

DIE first, FLY Next March 15, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Inspirational Story, Management.
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Two friends when they passed by a mansion in the city, one of them remarked “the owner of this bungalow was once an ordinary man. He used to be our next door neighbor in the old city. Now luck has been benevolent and this fellow has become a millionaire!” One comes across such observations quiet very often in life. I strongly believe that it is not just luck which determines why people achieve glory and success in life, there must be some foolproof force steering them.

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

What you do today determines how you live tomorrow.

 

 Ajit Varwandkar
Contact : info@fsindia.in

Is your resolutions week after a weak? January 8, 2011

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Life and all, Motivation.
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Its now a few days post the euphoria of new year 2011. Many of us did venture into getting into a fresh resolution or repeat of previous years resolution with a fresh enthocism!

On the eve of New Year many of us are tempted to think “seriously” on the new year resolutions! Whether you’re looking to make a big change, or just tweak a few little things, the new year gives you the perfect opportunity to reflect on your behavior and resolve to do better going forward. To identify a “fresh” new year resolution is not a big deal but to make the new year resolutions stick for at least 365 days is a million dollar challenge for most of us!. With the holiday & festive spirit around our moral gets uplifted and we resolve to get rid of something that we rather would not have had in our lives otherwise; something we know in the heart of the heart that it is wrong but we still continue doing it!

As per one survey of all those people who make new year resolutions, only 76% try to keep those; rest are those who make New Year’s resolutions but won’t even make the first step toward achieving the goal. Clearly, according to these statistics making and keeping New Year’s resolutions is not as easy as it seems.

A friend of mine briefed that the previous year he read some articles and found some useful tips which made his resolution stay for a bit longer duration but eventually his old self took over and he broke the promise. He said the culprit was lack of willpower and the strong influence of a few of his friends on his decision making criterions!

Surely only a few people do stick to what they resolve as a new year resolution through out the year. If you are one of such lucky person who can manage to keep up to your words. Great!!! Kudos, to you. There are most of those who can not keep up with their new year commitments. There are a few of these people who are really sorry for not being able to keep up their resolutions for long and struggle to make their new year – new resolutions stay around for as long as possible.

In this write-up I intend to help all such people keep up with their resolution this year. I feel this could be a great holiday gift for them!.
Well friends, how did you set your new year resolution this year? I am sure you did a search on face book, twitter or just googled it! However before making a right resolutions search, it is more important to first, believe in yourself that you are going to make your new year resolution stick, no matter how many times you tried and failed in the past. No matter what your resolution is. Be it quit smoking, lose weight, make more money. A word of caution here is that your new year resolution should not be just a fantasy but a realistic architecture of your aspirations and dreams.

Here are some tips to make your resolutions stick (even if you may have lost the spirit ) :

Make your resolution realistic and achievable. If you feel it is too big to handle then brake it into small projects.

Keep your number of resolutions low. Just a few resolutions will be easier to keep – and to keep track of – than a long life-changing list.
Be specific about what you want. “Loose weight” is a good one, but exactly how many kg’s would be a better resolution to track
Be specific about how to achieve your goal. What to achieve has been arrived at, but the road map on how to go about it should also be read along with the resolutions.

Have a iron strong willpower. Without the will you will not be successful anyway.

Create a support group of likeminded people and work in a team. For example if you wish to learn car driving this year, search for a friend who has a similar wish. Work together. Join a driving school & pay the fees in advance, they will ensure that you achieve your goal!

At times it also works to have a mentor/coach or some one to hold you accountable for your success and failures. Give the mentor all the authority to poke you or punch you, whenever you deviate.

Daily affirmations and visualization : It is must. Write your goals on the mirror. When you see yourself in the mirror every morning, just re affirm, it works & is long lasting! Try it. A friend of mine used to write the new year resolutions on the roof above his bed! He wanted to be reminded before and after his sleep!

Today there is an application for almost everything, from losing weight to finding a job. One can use any such application as an help to keep on the New Year`s resolutions. Social media is one such tool and can be a great support in enabling you to keep up with your new year resolutions.

Please note that a small BREAK should not be construed as a full stop! If you have to stop for a while, don’t consider it failure; just start up again. There are times in life – for days or even weeks – when doing anything related to a goal or a resolution would take a back stage, work or family would come to the forefront. In such times just put your goals on hold till the time that you come back again & pick up your wish list where you had let it off

Are you ready to ensure that your new year resolution lasts a year round this time?

Ajit Varwandkar
FS Management (I) Pvt. Ltd.
Email : info@fsindia.in

Kaon Banega Decision Maker? December 17, 2010

Posted by aglakadam in Inspirational Story, Management.
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KBC 4 had many lessons to teach. In fact two most important learning’s have been

1. Beware of greed, it should not over take desires
2. Decision making has to be a science, not a gamble.

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

 

Ajit Varwandkar
Managing Director,
FS Management (I) Pvt. Ltd.
Can be reached at info@fsindia.in

HONESTY is just a POLICY! October 23, 2010

Posted by aglakadam in career guidance and counselling, Children n Students, Life and all, National Issues, parenting, Social Casue.
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We do teach school students morals in life. Honesty is the best policy was one of the first phrases I learned in my life. Moral Science was a very important subject in school curriculum. We were taught moral science in school which we not only learnt by heart but also assimilated in our character in life. I remember those days when at home we used to get additional lessons on values in life skills by way of Panchatantra Stories etc. But it seems civilization has changed drastically and so have social values.

It was one of those days when Common Wealth Games was making the news headlines ( for Gold reasons!) One morning while reading newspaper my daughter asked me a question which triggered various thought processes very vital for today’s society in general and the education policy makers in specific. Here is sharing it all with you ….

The news goes like this : India bags 6 more Gold medal’s in the Common Wealth Games…. My daughter Mahima, who is a class VIIth school student, reads it loud for all of us around to listen & then remarks.. “looks like something is wrong…” I questioned her : “What is wrong about this? India gets Gold Medals & this is a reason for us to cheer and be happy…!” No Papa I didn’t mean that, yes I am happy with the Gold medals and the achievements but I never saw India getting so many Gold medals so I thought something was fishy! I asked her about her perceived apprehension, the answer was startling : She said : I think the game is fixed, India being the host country we are getting more medals then what we deserve… I snapped back : What nonsense dear, the players have practiced and performed ..hence they are winning and the reward follows…. You should not think negative.

Yes dad, I know that its not good to be negative.. but is there anything negative in suspecting that a game is fixed? In the previous few months we have been reading in news paper that various cricket games are fixed! Even in the school assembly when children have to read news, they have orated such news at times! Dad looks like you are not aware, there is a lot going wrong about these Common Wealth Games.. I read so much about one minister called Kamadi who is being blamed for so many mistakes in the CWG stadium!

With such a reply from a class seven student I got dumb stuck. What morals should we teach our children? More important how do we justify them what we teach? When we tell our children that it’s a bad habit to abuse, why does the next person on the street do so? why does the actor in the movie does so on a cinemascope screen or a TV show? We teach children about hygiene habits then why does we see so many people easing off by the street? What ever we teach them they try to correlate it with the world around them. It is getting increasingly a challange to teach & inculcate values in today’s generation. Today’s children demand that whatever is preached should be practiced also, not just by the teachers and the parents but by the society in general! When they do not find a synchronization they get confused. This is where their personality shatters.

One more reason is the excessive exposure to media – our children are exposed to the good as well as the bad in the society. You pick up a television sop and mostly you will find that it the story is based on some plot of a never ending conspiracy! Worst, invariably the conspiracy is played in between relationships and not enemies! You can see stories where a brother conspires against a brother or a mother in law is secretly working against the daughter in law, husband wife & the third relation stories are a common place now a days. Even the kids can guess such connections in a television sop while we teach them at home not to tell lies, be honest. Sorry sir, honesty does not deliver the desired results in today’s world always.. I was shocked when a parent informed me that their seven year old kid is used to telling a lie just for the sake of evading homework!

When we look deep into the evolution of all this, it seems as if the excess of exposure to our kids either through media or other wise is the culprit. Evil was always there in life, there has been no generation without a immoral clan around in the society. The only difference was that earlier the children then were not exposed to all that. The only information about bad person was in fairy tales. The question is what ever we teach our children at home or at school, if the society does not endorse it will the teaching get assimilated? Will we then have a valid stand to stand by our teachings in front of these students? Today do we have the answers to the questioning eyes of our young generation. Ethics & ethical behavior is not the agenda of today’s children, they are getting exposed to the latest in the technology but surely their value system is getting degraded day by day.

The real world is day by day becoming a rough & tough place to be. Today’s student have to be fully prepared to face it. Classroom education in itself does not make our students better prepared to face the world. It is the responsibility of us citizens of the country to take on this responsibility and behave in a balanced manner in public at least. A lot needs to be done on this. Come lets start thinking and as they say austerity starts at home, lets be a responsible parent at home in every wake of our life.

Ajit Varwandkar
Managing Director
http://www.aglakadam.com

Eureka of Emotional Relativity August 17, 2010

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, EQ, Fun Reading, Inspirational Story, Management, Motivation, Social Casue.
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Every morning I take my German Shephard for a stroll and that’s one source how I get a lot of food for thought & air ( oxygen) for survival! One interesting incident I share with you which I experienced one morning. I saw a milk vendor halting by the side of a thick stem tree & took an hide on the back of it. We were very near still the milkman’s activity was not in vision for us. Me and my dog, both had an anxiety to sniff around & explore. I smelled an adulteration (and in most probably my dog sniffed a milk treat!).
I was correct & found that the milk man had two pouch of drinking water with him, which he added to the can of milk. May be he would sell half a liter milk more than what the cow owner intended to sell and make some additional money out of it. I admonished the milk man which he refuted with arrogance. I wanted to setoff my dog on to him but I restrained. By the way my dog was also more interested in the spill off milk & not at all in the theft which I had discovered.

I kept feeling bad about this milk man. I pitied & felt worst for the receivers of the adultered milk for a long & was exploring how a lactometer could reach every household. My emotions took a paradigm shift when one day when I saw a road side pani puri wala resorting to the rain dripping water as a source of pani (water) for the pani puri dish! This water was one of the worst impurity I ever saw, the four wheel trolley on which the vendor sold pani puri had a rusted tin sheet where the rain water got stored. Drop by drop the water fell down into the strategically placed pani puri vessel. Poor pani puri lovers, most of them might not even know that contaminated water is being pumped into their stomach along with their most cherished pani puri!
This second event actually enlightened me & I experienced the Eureka of Relativity. Suddenly the milk vendor became a very respected gentleman for me. Till yesterday whenever I saw that milk vendor stop by that ‘adulteration tree’, I used to get an urge to stop him & cure him of his manipulation disease. But today I wanted to garland him & praise him .. you know why? Because I was so happy this milk vendor was so much sensitive & health conscious! He was actually purchasing a one rupee pure water pouch to be sued as an additive in the milk. I thought at least he is not resorting to the rain water for this! How noble this milk man was! What if he had used the rain water? Or worst the road side gutter water? By now I had so much of respect for that noble milk wala that I could have offered him a noble prize for his hygienic intentions!

Well friends every thing we experience in life teaches us a lesson. This experience in my life taught me the Theory of Emotional Relativity! Emotions out of our exposures are very much relative in life. It is only when we see the longer line that we can make out the shorter line!

I was happy with my small car only till such time that I saw my neighbor’s long car! I was happy with my small house only till such time that I realized my friends had a bigger bungalow! I was happy with 90% marks in the examination till such time that I found my colleague already secured 98%. I was happy with 15% of a salary hike in my office job this year till such time I found that the company had also offered 20% salary hike to some one else!

Reserve your emotions :

The message here is to learn to reserve our emotional reactions! When you are tempted to think that “this is the worst that could happen in this situation” STOP .. this may not be the Worst.. I would at best give you the right to feel bad about your experience.. not worst! Bill Gates once while addressing management graduates said “If you think your college professors are very strict, wait for your first boss!”

One more example to site here.. Post FIFA, the Octopus is a lot in demand; wile the parrot was just on the verge of loosing his job also so was the unaware future teller! Once upon a time in Indian haats & bazaars we could occasionally see many future tellers sitting on the road side with a parrot in the cage. A lot of people would crowd around to know what secrets the future had to unfold for them! The only job of the parrot was to pick a slip of fortune for the visitor! I met one such fortune reader recently… He was really sad, his agony was “ Till now the only complaint was that less people come to me & that the traffic was getting less day by day, but now people are asking me to hire an octopus & give away the parrot!”

There is nothing like Best or Worst in this world. If you think an experience was worst, hold on, it could deteriorate further. Likewise if you think you have done your best, think twice, may be you could still do it better!! Theory of Relative Emotions thus advises us not to respond very strongly to worldly exposures and reserve our reactions for future!

Ajit Varwandkar
The author is Managing Director of http://www.aglakadam.com
He can be contacted on info@fsindia.in

when life is tough, be OBSERVAT:-) March 16, 2010

Posted by aglakadam in EQ, Inspirational Story, Management, Motivation.
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First year students of MBBS were attending their first Anatomy class. They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog.

The Professor started class by telling two important qualities as a Doctor.

The first is that NEVER BE DISGUSTED FOR ANYTHING ABOUT BODY,
e.g. he inserted his finger in dog’s mouth & on drawing back tasted it in his own mouth.

Then he said them to do the same.

The students hesitated for several minutes but eventually everyone inserted their fingers
in dog’s mouth & then tasted it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said:

The most important 2nd quality is OBSERVATION,

I inserted my Middle finger but tasted the Index finger. Now learn to pay attention.

Moral: Life is tough but it’s a lot tougher when you are not paying attention