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Kind Words for Parents – will you? March 5, 2010

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Friends sharing a story, author anonymous :

Kind words for Parents

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, “What is this?”

The Son replied “It is a crow”.

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?”

The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”.

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?”

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”.

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, “What is this?”

This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”.

While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

MORAL :

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”.

Say a prayer to God, “I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Ajit Varwandkar
Twitter : @varwandkar
http://www.aglakadam.com
Dt. 5.03.2010

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Examination Period Alerts March 4, 2010

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What to do in Examination Period

Tips to prepare well for examinations February 20, 2010

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examination preparation

Tips to prepare for examination

ऐसे करें परीक्षा की तैयारी February 16, 2010

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परीक्षा का तनाव क्या होता है ?यह सवाल आप किसी भी छात्र से करे ,तो उसके हिसाब से दुनिया का सबसे बड़ा तनाव यही है पूरे साल मेहनत की है .पर अब nervous हो रहे है |पता नहीं क्या होगा ?
और अगर यह बोर्ड परीक्षा है ,तो तनाव होना असामान्य बात नहीं है |लेकिन कुछ बातो का ध्यान रख कर बच्चे तनाव से बच सकते है और अपनी परीक्षा में अच्छा प्रदर्शन कर सकते है

<क्या करें छात्र
*परीक्षा के लिए लक्ष्य तय करना जरूरी है। अपनी क्षमता देखकर ही अपना लक्ष्य तय करें। वरना बाद में निराशा होगी। अगर आप 9वीं कक्षा तक 65 प्रश अंक लेकर पास होते रहे हैं तो अपना लक्ष्य भी 65 से 75 प्रश अंकों का ही रखें। 85 या 90 प्रश अंकों का लक्ष्य रखने से आप भटक जाएँगे।

* ध्यान रहे, लगातार कई घंटों तक पढ़कर कोई बच्चा अच्छे अंक प्राप्त नहीं कर सकता। किताबी कीड़ा बनने की जरूरत नहीं। पढ़ाई के साथ थोड़ा समय बाकी कामों के लिए भी निकालें।

* सुबह की सैर के साथ-साथ थोड़ा-बहुत व्यायाम व खेलकूद भी जरूरी है। इससे शरीर को नई चुस्ती-फुर्ती मिलती है, जो कि शारीरिक व मानसिक विकास के लिए बहुत जरूरी है।

* मनोरंजन हमारे जीवन का जरूरी हिस्सा है। परीक्षा के दिनों में मनोरंजन का समय घटा दें, लेकिन खुद को मनोरंजन की दुनिया से पूरी तरह अलग न करें। थोड़ा समय निकालकर हल्का-फुल्का संगीत, हल्की-फुल्की कॉमेडी फिल्म या धारावाहिक अवश्य देखें।

* अगर माता-पिता ने आपके सामने बहुत कठिन लक्ष्य रख दिया है, आपको लगता है कि आप उसे हासिल नहीं कर पाएँगे, तो उनसे स्पष्ट शब्दों में कहें कि आप कोशिश करेंगे लेकिन आपकी क्षमता से यह लक्ष्य बड़ा है। अगर वे फिर भी उसे बार-बार आप पर थोपते हैं तो इसे नाकका प्रश्न न बनाएँ। धैर्यपूर्वक उतना करें, जितना आप कर सकते हैं। अनावश्यक तनाव न पालें।

* अगर आप तनाव में हैं या फिर आपको किसी तरह की घबराहट या बेचैनी हो रही है तो जल्दी ही घर के किसी सदस्य को या फिर करीबी मित्र को बताएँ। अगर आपको लगता है कि आपकी बात कोई नहीं सुनेगा तो किसी हेल्पलाइन पर फोन करें। वे आपका मार्गदर्शन करेंगे। परीक्षा के दिनों में बच्चों के लिए विशेष हेल्पलाइन शुरू की जाती हैं। इनकी जानकारी सभी अखबारों में मिल जाती है।

___Varsha Varwandkar , Career Counselor ,www.aglakadam.com ,Raipur

परीक्षा का तनाव और अभिभावक की भूमिका December 29, 2009

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29-12-2009
परीक्षा शुरु होने मैं सिर्फ दो माह बचे है और बच्चो के साथ साथ उनके माता पिता भी परीक्षा का तनाव लेने लगे है |माध्यमिक व उच्च माध्यमिक परीक्षाओं की तिथियां नजदीक आ रही हैं और परीक्षा के समय छात्र-छात्राओं का तनावग्रस्त होना आम बात हो गई है।

. बच्चे रात-दिन पढ़ाई करने लगते हैं. इस वजह से वे भारी तनाव में आ जाते हैं. पढ़ाई के तनाव का आलम यह रहता है कि बच्चे खाना पीना, खेलकूद छोड़ सिर्फ पढ़ाई करने लगते हैं. रात भर पढ़ाई करने से बच्चों की नींद पूरी नहीं होती.

अभिभावक भी पढ़ाई के लिये बच्चों पर भारी दबाव बनाते हैं. इससे बच्चों का शारीरिक व मानसिक विकास रुक जाता है.| तनाव के कारण बहुत से विद्यार्थी तैयारी के बावजूद परीक्षा में अच्छे अंक नहीं ला पाते हैं लेकिन कुछ गूढ़ बातों पर ध्यान दिया जाए तो तनाव से उबर कर परीक्षा में अच्छा प्रदर्शन किया जा सकता है।मेरी सभी बच्चों से एक ही गुजारिश है कि आप पढ़ाई का इतना टेंशन मत लो.,पता नहीं कैसे पेपर आएगे ,नंबर कैसे आएगे ?

आप बाद की चिंता अभी से क्यों कर रहे है ?अभी तो आप ध्यान दीजिये की आपका कोर्से पूरा हुआ या नहीं ?आपके पास सभी किताबे या नोट्स है या नहीं ,कंही उसके बीच के पन्ने फटे तो नहीं है ?माता पिता भी यह ध्यान दे की पढाई के लिए अपने बच्चे के लिए अच्छा माहौल कैसे प्रदान करे |आप
परीक्षा के लिए उसके मानसिक दवाब को कैसे कम कर सकते है ?आगे दिए कुछ सलाह अपना कर ,’आप अपने बच्चो का मानसिक दवाब परीक्षा को लेकर कम कर सकते है |

–आप यह मानसिकता छोड़ दे की बच्चे के सामने परीक्षा का हौवा खड़ा करने पर वह पढाई ज्यादा करेगा |

—हर समय उसके पीछे न पड़े |

—आप अपने बच्चे के साथ परस्पर संवाद बना कर रखे |

–बच्चे को पढाई के बीच थोडा थोडा ब्रेक लेने कहे |

—आप अपने बच्चे के मूड को पहचाने ,कंही वो दुखी तो नही ,कंही उसने अपने दोस्तों से मिलना जुलना बंद तो नहीं कर दिया ?

—बच्चे को भावनात्मक सहयोग देने का प्रयत्न करे |
—यदि लगता है की आप के बच्चे को काउन्स्लेर की सहायता की जरुरत है तो बिलकुल भी देरी न करे ,एक अच्छा करियर काउन्स्लेर आपकी चिंता को कम जरुर करेगा |

Varsha Varwandkar career Psychologist, http://www.aglakadam.com ,Raipur

Managing Thoughts December 28, 2009

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Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking and that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are some simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life.

Be aware of your thoughts
Start watching your thoughts. At the outset thoughts are like the waves of the ocean which do not stop even for a moment like the watch ticking it’s way. Do not be discouraged by the fact that you are becoming a part of your thoughts. Just watch your thoughts as a detached observer.

You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. What you need to do whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back as a detached observer. Just watch; after some time you will be able to know your negative thoughts. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace those negative thoughts in order to switch over to a mode of positive attitude towards them. Unnecessary thoughts should be stopped to improve the quality of necessary ones.

Identify your negative thoughts
Keep a log book of your thoughts. Write down the happenings of the day. The log book should record both verbal and mental response. Were your thoughts positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Sometimes we ask others or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself about what all provoked you to make the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If not, then why not? Were the words used appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker? Keep in mind that log books are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is very important to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.

Replace with positive thoughts
This is an important and vital step for it is here that the actual switch-over to the desired state takes place. The removal of your negative thoughts should be followed by the replacement by positive ones. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively. Both of them in turn depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decide the quality of the outcome. Thoughts have the power to materialise themselves because they are instrumental in channeling both mental and physical energies towards realizing the goal. External situations and the remarks of others can harm us – again through our thoughts – but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive.

Talk positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watch strap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dash board of the car. Slip them under the glass on the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day. Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents.

Maintain the momentum
Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker. Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, “I can never succeed”, it will not suffice if your replace it with “Attack! I can succeed”. This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions. The replacing thought in this case may be “I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan and then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carry on with the plan, and finally succeed.

In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thoughts of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way any how – and if there is none I shall make one”. Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units.

Forget what you have lost so that you can achieve what still remains.
{Source: World Renewal, http://www.brahmakumaris.com}\

Varsha Varwandkar ,consultant Psychologist, http://www.aglakadam.com ,Raipur

तनाव से बचने के भ्रामक टोटके December 23, 2009

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अरे, तनाव किसे नहीं है जिन्दगी में ?हम सोचते है वो तो फेमस क्रिकेट खिलाडी है उसे क्या तनाव ?आपने खेल के मैदान पर अपने मुंह में chewngam चबाते हुए खिलाडियों को देखा है (सचिन तेंदुलकर )इसके अपवाद है |सिनेमाघर में खाया जाने वाला पोपकोर्न दर्शक के भीतरी बैचेनी और खालीपन का प्रतीक है |यह तो उस फिल्म की भी कमी है जो दर्शको को नहीं बांध पा रही है| सारे दिन दिन सेल्स वाले या तो चाय पीते रहेंगे या सिगरेट पीते रहेंगे या पान गुटका खाते रहेंगे ,जो उनके भीतर के तनाव का प्रतीक है और उनकी मानसिक हालत का भी परिचायक है |दरअसल ये बबलगम ,चाय ,सिगरेट ,गुटका भीतरे के तनाव से बचने के भ्रामक टोटके है ,जो आप और हम रोज करते है | मेरी माने तो ये चीजे सिर्फ हमारी कमजोर मानसिक शक्ति की परिचायक है ,जो हमारा पलायनवादी दृष्टिकोण बताती है |

Varsha Varwandkar ,Career Psychologist ,www.aglakadam.com,Raipur

23-12-2009

career planning November 17, 2009

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कहते है हर चीज वक्त पर ही अच्छी लगती है ,चाहे वो वारिश हो या आपका करियर का निर्णय .अब आप देखो न इस बेमौसम वर्षा ने हमारी फसल का कितना नुकसान कर दिया .यही वर्षा अगर वक्त पर हुई होती तो क्या बात होती?,बस यही बात हमारे साथ भी लागू होती है.कई बार अवसर हमारे पास आते है पर हम सही रूप से निर्णय नहीं ले पाते.और जब सोचते सोचते निर्णय लेते है तो पता चलता है हमे तो ,काफी देर हो गई है .आब सही समय आ गया है की क्लास 11th के बच्चे अपने करियर प्लानिंग के बारे में सोचने लगे ,आपने ,यह निर्णय लेना है ,आगे आप को क्या करना है ?आप अपने आप को आने वाले ५ वर्षो मैं कंहा देखना चाहते हो ?क्या आप की करियर प्लानिंग आपके परेंट्स की प्लानिंग से मैच करती है /तो बस शुरु हो जाओ — वर्षा अजित वरवँड़कर,

अगला कदम . कॉम

How safely are our kids being transported from School to Home? October 30, 2009

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News today from a small city of Madhya Pradesh in India : School Bus carrying school children back home met with an accident. The driver was drunk and skid the bus into a ditch.
While we are working out various innovative policies in the education systems I suggest we need to make a very strict code of conduct for the travel and commuting of school children. Not just the school bus & the drivers, if you peep across various small villages ad cities in India, you will find auto rickshaw’s & cycle rickshaw’s transporting school children in a manner as if it was a poultry van. Over capacity passengers and suffocation invites an accident any moment.
In some metro cities we find children commuting to school on their on two wheelers or cars. Here again a few of them drive their vehicle even without being legally qualified to bear a driving license ( they may still have one is a different story!)
I invite a debate on this critical subject and suggest the government’s ( State & Center ) to take strong initiatives to address this critical subject. Lets not delay it any further.
Ajit Varwandkar, http://www.aglakadam.com // 12.18 pm // 30.10.2009

the incite into the minds of the professional working women October 28, 2009

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Right from my childhood I always wanted to make a difference in this world. I have been on lookout for an opportunity to do so. Its my observation that many female executives still struggle with gender bias, lack of recognition for achievements, balancing their professional and personal lives, and establishing strong mentorship and support systems.
Because of the public’s recent skepticism about corporate sector, “the female in the HR role receives more visibility internally and externally. Gender bias continues to be a major issue for female executives. Go to the corporate world and you will find generally people are reluctant to confront gender-based misconceptions about their commitment as executives, as well as unspoken stereotypes and prejudices. One critical area of concern & challenge for female professionals is establishing a work-life balance.
One critical area of observation is about the less number of women in senior positions ( though the count increasing recently) and as such lack of role models to get inspired from.
To get ahead in the corporate jungle today women professionals need to understand, develop, and be very aware of the need for networking, mentoring, and other avenues that are typical in a man’s course of business.
To know more on this domain of women at work, we at aglakadam.com have conducted a survey covering professional female executives. We received some startling findings and the survey report should be uploaded on website very soon.
Just a few days more to explore the incite into the professional working women…
Monali Chanda, http://www.aglakadam.com / 6.27 pm / 28.10.2009