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Words to Use with Your Kids April 22, 2010

Posted by aglakadam in parenting.
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You can use these everyday phrases to instill confidence, self-respect, and thoughtfulness in your children.

Thank you –It’s important to acknowledge your child’s efforts to help you or others. You might say: “Thanks for helping me look for that missing sock” or “Thanks for setting the table; I got the salad made while you were doing that.”

Tell me more. –Words like these show your child that you are listening and that you would like to hear more about what’s on her mind. “Tell me more” encourages conversation without passing judgment or giving immediate advice – two responses that discourage further communication from your child.

You can do it.– Your expression of confidence in your child’s ability to do many things without your help is important. As your child grows older, there will be many times when your encouragement will mean the difference between his giving up on a challenging task or seeing it through.

How can I help?– Let your child know you are willing and available to help her accomplish a particular task that may be difficult for her to manage on her own. You might say: “I think you can read that story by yourself now. Let me know if you need help with a new word.” As your child takes on projects in school, encourage her to think of specific steps that are necessary to complete a project. You both can decide which tasks your child can handle on her own and which ones she’ll need help with.

Let’s all pitch in.– A child is never too young to learn that cooperation and team effort make many jobs easier and speedier – and often more fun: “Let’s all pitch in and finish raking the leaves so we can go in and bake cookies,” or “Let’s all pitch in and clean up the kitchen or we’ll miss the movie.” Family activities and group chores can develop into pleasant rituals that enrich a child’s life and create fond memories.

How about a hug?— Don’t just tell your child you love him – show him. Research indicates that young children deprived of physical touch and displays of affection often fail to thrive. As children grow older, they vary in the ways they like us to show affection. Some love to be cuddled, while others prefer a quick hug or pat on the shoulder. It’s important to be aware of what your child enjoys most at a particular age.

Please—. After all these years, “please” is still a classic. When you ask a favor of anyone – including children – this “magic word” acknowledges that you are asking for a behavior that will help you and/or make you happy. (P.S.: Don’t forget to say “thank you” when the job is done.)

Good job! Good for you.— Self-respect and self-confidence grow when your child’s efforts and performance are rewarded. Whenever possible, give your child lots of praise. Be sure your praise is honest and specific. Focus on your child’s efforts and progress, and help her identify her strengths.

It’s time to… “It’s time to get ready for bed,” or “do homework,” or “turn off the TV.” Young children need structure in their daily lives to provide a measure of security in an often insecure world. It is up to you as a parent to establish and maintain a workable schedule of activities, always remembering that children benefit from regular mealtimes and bedtimes.

I love you.— Everyone needs love and affection and a feeling of acceptance and belonging. We can’t assume that children know and understand our love for them unless we tell them. Letting your child know that you love him (and showing him with countless hugs) is important not only in toddlerhood, but also as he gets older.


Varsha Varwandkar, Career Psychologist , http://www.aglakadam.com,Raipur


Life lessons from 20 April 3, 2010

Posted by aglakadam in Life and all, Management, Motivation.
Tags: , ,

A lot of craze is running after the cricketing event of IPL. World cup 20 is likely to follow soon. In a way this new format of cricket has given us some messages…

Unlike the five day and even one day cricket games the 20-20 gives the result instantly. In a very short play duration you come to know who is the winner. The game takes many swings either ways and in most of the matches it is the last over or the last ball which decides the fate!

A question to be pondered over is “Why do some teams fail & some succeed?” Definitely I am not a cricket expert & would like to be excused on the finer cricketing details of the game. To my understanding there is a psychological aspect to this and a message to be learned by the youth. Lets not see the game just for fun or for the love of cricket, but also lets learn some critical messages out of this game.


1. Execution : As is said in cricket – all teams are good but the winner is one who puts on the best show on field! According to me the experience & capability to play or perform under stressful situations helps one to showcase the best performance and taste success. You may have done a lot of planning & practice but if you are not able to execute it well, you are no where in the game!

2. Be really mind – strong : In life we can never be midway between willing to win and not being confidant to win! We have to be head strong in our approach, minor setbacks & small failures should never divert us from our target.

3. Winning is a by product : more important is playing the game – and playing it in the best possible manner. Definitely one needs to have the right strategy & proper planning, without which all play would be a spoil sport.

4. Have Passion, not just expertise : Just like any game, in life as well, the winner need not be an expert, the one who performs the best with 100 % passion most of the times stands out as a winner!

5. Overconfidence is fetal : If you have been a winner, an expert in your field; never underestimate your next game in life. When you are on field, it is important to focus on the reason that brings you there. Never loose focus.

6. The right attitude wins : As said by Sunil Gawaskar in his book ‘Idols’ : ‘when beaten by a ball, I just concentrate on the next ball.’ Forget the defeat, focus on the next shot. Have the right attitude & be victorious.

Ajit Varwandkar,
Managing Director,
FS Management (I) Pvt. Ltd.
Author can be contacted on :
E Mail : info@fsindia.in