Papa Don’t Preach February 19, 2011Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Children n Students, parenting.
Tags: aglakadam, परीक्षा, बच्चो, career, children, exam, examination, guidance, lesson, life, parenting, prepare, stress
If there was a stress barometer to read family stress, the mercury would have shot up very high these days because a lot of examination borne stress is showing in families. Where there are children, there ought to be schools and where there are schools, examinations are must! Come March – April and most of the schools in India shall be conducting the final / yearly evaluation examinations.
Most of the students are worried about the exams. They go through phases of sleepless nights or peace less sleep. They don’t feel like eating well and constantly keep feeling irritable. Irony is that their parent as well experiences almost similar symptoms. To add to the impact they are emotionally stressed too! Students are worried because they have to “face” the examinations and their parents are bothered about their performance.
Students are the only ones who actually are aware on their level of preparations for the examinations. Some students may have well prepared and would be in the final lap of revision while many others would not be so lucky! But the common factor for both the category of students, those who are prepared for examinations and those not prepared for exams, is that “stress” attacks all of them!
These are the days when students spend most of the time at home preparing for their next test. Parents are not far behind, I have seen many parents take leave from their office and sit along with their children while he/she is studying. Some of the parents care too much for their children and continuously keep following it up with them for completion of course curriculum. Some such parent even extend support to their children in finishing up with their subject practical’s or assignments. Parents would getup early morning along with the children to help them in studies and won’t part till they see off them the into the examination hall!
While examination season is actually the time when the kid requires absolutely stress free atmosphere, the over indulgence of parent sometimes makes the situation further complicated. The parent has all good intentions to support their children but generally what evolves out of their sudden involvement is additional stress and irritation to the children.
“All study and no play makes Jack a dull guy” – we tend to forget this knowingly. While the examination days when the student needs to concentrates better on the learning process they are not allowed to play or turn on the music. In the guise of studies there is an atmosphere of gloom & panic at home. Students are not exposed to such restrictions, extra attention and it finally distracts them.
Competition is tough and peer pressure is already very high for the student; under such situation the otherwise dormant parent makes a mistake to suddenly start over discussing the syllabus with their children. Parent does not realize that their emotional outburst invariably affect their children directly. The child is not really prepared to take on the fresh set of expectations. With so much of hi definition emotions & complex stress at home, every individual in the house needs to support the examinee by taking proper care of his or her own emotions on their own. Child’s emotional need should be allocated the highest priority and parents should not allow their emotional state to disturb their child’s routine. When a parent gets into the trap of emotional examination stress, the child is likely to experience one or more of the following symptoms: disappointment & lack of confidence, apathy to study & appear for examinations, unable to learn because of memory lapse, heath disorders like headache, fever, irritable bowl, nervousness & temptation to end life etc.
Parents I suggest you to please relax & not over react at this juncture when the student is on the verge of examinations. Behave very normal and let the child follow the normal course of his day routine. Be like a genie & a guide post for your student. My prescription is be affectionate and never make the child uncomfortable with over-attention. A dose of zappi ( hug ) an hour would work wonders.
As the final countdown for the examinations starts for the students here are a few more suggestions for the parents to de-stress their children :
• Try to have least one meal with the family and spend some light moments with children.
• If the student does not perform well in one test allow him to forget about it and plan for the next paper. Ruminating over the failure is never fruitful.
• Apart from examinations, discuss about other interests and hobbies of your child. This will help him / her to relax.
• Do not set fresh examination rules for your child, examination timetable should be made well in advance. “Revision timetable” should be decided only by the student. However the parent could always assist the child in coming up with a routine, if the child so desires.
• Take care of the child’s nutrition & health.
• Sometimes children are not able to cope up with their social network (friends and internet sites), you can help the student to shield these pressures.
• Be a good listener, never react without understanding the complete story from your child. It may just be that the child is reacting out of some situation but actually addressing a different stress.
• Motivate the child, he/she may not show but could be disheartened within. Help your child with positive thoughts.
• Last but not the least, Parent should consult a counselor if the child is experiencing alarming stress or behaving abnormally.
Parenting is a very responsible art. Parenting decision should be made in mutual consultation by mother and father. As a parent you are best positioned to understand the aptitude and ability of your child. Accordingly ensure that the child goes through the process of examination freely and smoothly. My dear parents, do not just preach but also teach your child to be positive about examinations because this exam is not the end of the journey. Life is much more beyond these examinations.
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