Words to Use with Your Kids April 22, 2010
Posted by aglakadam in parenting.Tags: family, kids .thanks .good job
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You can use these everyday phrases to instill confidence, self-respect, and thoughtfulness in your children.
Thank you –It’s important to acknowledge your child’s efforts to help you or others. You might say: “Thanks for helping me look for that missing sock” or “Thanks for setting the table; I got the salad made while you were doing that.”
Tell me more. –Words like these show your child that you are listening and that you would like to hear more about what’s on her mind. “Tell me more” encourages conversation without passing judgment or giving immediate advice – two responses that discourage further communication from your child.
You can do it.– Your expression of confidence in your child’s ability to do many things without your help is important. As your child grows older, there will be many times when your encouragement will mean the difference between his giving up on a challenging task or seeing it through.
How can I help?– Let your child know you are willing and available to help her accomplish a particular task that may be difficult for her to manage on her own. You might say: “I think you can read that story by yourself now. Let me know if you need help with a new word.” As your child takes on projects in school, encourage her to think of specific steps that are necessary to complete a project. You both can decide which tasks your child can handle on her own and which ones she’ll need help with.
Let’s all pitch in.– A child is never too young to learn that cooperation and team effort make many jobs easier and speedier – and often more fun: “Let’s all pitch in and finish raking the leaves so we can go in and bake cookies,” or “Let’s all pitch in and clean up the kitchen or we’ll miss the movie.” Family activities and group chores can develop into pleasant rituals that enrich a child’s life and create fond memories.
How about a hug?— Don’t just tell your child you love him – show him. Research indicates that young children deprived of physical touch and displays of affection often fail to thrive. As children grow older, they vary in the ways they like us to show affection. Some love to be cuddled, while others prefer a quick hug or pat on the shoulder. It’s important to be aware of what your child enjoys most at a particular age.
Please—. After all these years, “please” is still a classic. When you ask a favor of anyone – including children – this “magic word” acknowledges that you are asking for a behavior that will help you and/or make you happy. (P.S.: Don’t forget to say “thank you” when the job is done.)
Good job! Good for you.— Self-respect and self-confidence grow when your child’s efforts and performance are rewarded. Whenever possible, give your child lots of praise. Be sure your praise is honest and specific. Focus on your child’s efforts and progress, and help her identify her strengths.
It’s time to… “It’s time to get ready for bed,” or “do homework,” or “turn off the TV.” Young children need structure in their daily lives to provide a measure of security in an often insecure world. It is up to you as a parent to establish and maintain a workable schedule of activities, always remembering that children benefit from regular mealtimes and bedtimes.
I love you.— Everyone needs love and affection and a feeling of acceptance and belonging. We can’t assume that children know and understand our love for them unless we tell them. Letting your child know that you love him (and showing him with countless hugs) is important not only in toddlerhood, but also as he gets older.
(Source–Familyeducation.com)
Varsha Varwandkar, Career Psychologist , http://www.aglakadam.com,Raipur
Mother Magic can help children excell in examinations February 3, 2010
Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, career guidance and counselling, Children n Students, parenting.Tags: children, exam, examination, parenting, phobia, stres
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An article by Mrs. Varsha Varwandkar in Daily Navabharat
सुबह का नाश्ता बढ़ाए याददाश्त January 7, 2010
Posted by aglakadam in parenting.Tags: बच्चो, children, parenting
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07-01-2010
यदि आप चाहते हैं कि आपका बच्चा स्कूल में पढ़ाई में अच्छा प्रदर्शन करे तो उसे रोजाना सुबह नाश्ता देना न भूलें। हैदराबाद स्थित राष्ट्रीय पोषण संस्थान द्वारा किए गए अध्ययन में यह बात सामने आई है।
अध्ययन के अनुसार नाश्ता न करने वाले या अनियमित रूप से नाश्ता करने वाले बच्चों की तुलना में नियमित रूप से नाश्ता करने वाले बच्चे पढ़ाई में अच्छा प्रदर्शन करते हैं। साथ ही उनकी याददाश्त और ध्यान व एकाग्रता भी अच्छी होती है।
‘इंडियन पिडियाट्रिक्स’ जर्नल में प्रकाशित इस अध्ययन में कहा गया है कि सुबह नाश्ता करने की बजाय दिन में खाना खाने वाले बच्चों में रोजाना के पोषक तत्वों की जरूरत भले ही पूरी हो जाती हो, लेकिन सुबह भूख के कारण वे शिक्षक के लेक्चरों पर ध्यान केंद्रित नहीं कर पाते।
शोधकर्ताओं का कहना है कि नाश्ता करने से मस्तिष्क को ऊर्जा मिलती है और सीखने की क्षमता बेहतर होती है। रात के खाने और नाश्ते के बीच करीब 10 से 12 घंटे के अंतराल के कारण रक्त में ग्लूकोज का स्तर कम हो जाता है और नाश्ते को हमेशा अनदेखा करते रहने से बौद्धिक प्रदर्शन पर प्रतिकूल असर पड़ता है।
अध्ययन में कहा गया कि समय के अव्यवस्थित प्रबंधन के कारण किसी अन्य आहार की तुलना में नाश्ते को सबसे अधिक अनदेखा किया जाता है। नाश्ते को अनदेखा करने के पीछे समय की कमी सबसे बड़ा कारण है। इसके अलावा माताओं के पास समय का अभाव या रोजाना एक ही तरह का नाश्ता बनाना भी इसके कारण हैं
मेरा तो ये मानना है, कि आज अगर बच्चो में हम नाश्ता करने की आदत नहीं डाल पा रहे है ,तो कंही न कंही हमारी लाइफ स्टायल ही जिम्मेवार है ,बच्चो का देर रात तक टी वी देखना ,देर तक पार्टी attend करना और देर तक सोना |ऐसे में वो सो कर कब उठेगा और कब स्कूल की तैयारी करते वक्त वो नाश्ता कर पायेगा ? साथ ही साथ मम्मियों से भी मेरी एक गुजारिश है, की बच्चे के सुबह के नाश्ते में कुछ नया करने की सोचे ,उसे जो टिफिन दे ,रोज एक ही तरीके का खाना न दे ,|याद रखिये आपकी थोड़ी सी मेहनत आपके बच्चे की याददाश्त को तेज करने में सहायक होगी |
अगर बच्चा रोज आपसे चिप्स ,नूडल्स की मांग करता है ,तो आप उसे समझाने की प्यार भरी कोशिश करे | आप उसकी माँ है ,वो आपकी बात जरुर मानेगा |बस जरुरत है थोड़े प्यार और धीरज की |बच्चे को खाने के गुण और दोषों के बारे में बताइए ,धीरे धीरे ये सब जंक फ़ूड आप अपने परिवार से दूर करते जाइये और धीरे धीरे आप देखेंगे कि आप के बच्चे ने सुबह का नाश्ता करना शुरु कर दिया है|
Varsha Varwandkar ,Career Psychologist, http://www.aglakadam.com ,Raipur
बच्चे के सामने बहस करने से बचें January 6, 2010
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06–01—2010
माता-पिता कई बातों को लेकर एक-दूसरे से असहमत होते हैं और उनमें तकरार हो सकती है, लेकिन अगली बार अगर आप तकरार में उलझें तो यह बात ध्यान में रखिएगा कि इसका असर आपके बच्चे पर पड़ सकता है।
हाल ही में किए गए एक अध्ययन में बताया गया है कि जो बच्चे अपने माता-पिता में अकसर होने वाली तकरार को लेकर परेशान रहते हैं, उनके स्कूल में भी कई समस्याओं से दो-चार होने की आशंका होती है, क्योंकि ऐसे बच्चे अपने काम पर ध्यान नहीं दे पाते।
रोचेस्टर विश्वविद्यालय नोत्रेदम विश्वविद्यालय और सायराक्यूज विश्वविद्यालय के एक अंतरराष्ट्रीय दल ने छह साल की उम्र के 216 बच्चों, उनके अभिभावकों और उनके शिक्षकों पर तीन साल से अधिक समय तक अध्ययन करने के बाद यह निष्कर्ष निकाला है।
चाइल्ड डवलपमेंट जर्नल के नवीनतम अंक में प्रकाशित खबर के अनुसार अनुसंधानकर्ताओं ने पाया कि जो बच्चे अभिभावकों के बीच होने वाली तकरार को लेकर परेशान रहते हैं, वे इस समस्या की शुरुआत के करीब एक साल बाद एकाग्रता की समस्या के शिकार हो जाते हैं।
एकाग्रता की इस समस्या के बारे में स्कूल के शिक्षक शिकायत करते हैं कि ऐसे बच्चे उस निश्चित अवधि के दौरान स्कूल में सामंजस्य नहीं बैठा पाए और उनका रिकॉर्ड प्रभावित हो गया।
सर्वाधित चौंकाने वाली बात यह है कि अभिभावकों की तकरार के एक साल बाद उसे लेकर बच्चों की परेशानी और उनकी स्कूल की समस्याओं में गहरा संबंध पाया गया। कुछ मामलों में तो इस तनाव से उबरने के लिए बच्चों ने अपनी सोच को ही नकारात्मक कर लिया, जिसका उन्हें नुकसान हुआ।
प्रमुख अध्ययनकर्ता पैट्रिक टी. डेविस के अनुसार स्वास्थ्य की दृष्टि से यह समझना अत्यंत महत्वपूर्ण है कि बच्चे अपने अभिभावकों के मतभेदों पर कैसी प्रतिक्रिया देते हैं।
रोचेस्टर विश्वविद्यालय से संबद्ध डेविस कहते हैं बच्चों की एकाग्रता क्षमता को मजबूत करने के लिए चलाए जाने वाले कार्यक्रम उनके मानसिक स्वास्थ्य को बेहतर बनाए रखने का एक उपाय हो सकते हैं, बशर्ते इनका इस बात से कोई सरोकार न हो कि अभिभावकों की तकरार से कैसे निपटा जा सकता है।
::::: Varsha Varwandkar ,Career Psychologist, http://www.aglakadam.com ,Raipur
Slow #Dance — More #Life November 19, 2009
Posted by aglakadam in Jara hut ke, Life and all, parenting.Tags: enjoy, life, time
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This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.She wants to see how many people get her poem. It is quite a poem. This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital .
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores Running through your head?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see her sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,’Hi’
You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift….
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
Some children do have Differential Learning Ability .. we need to just encourage & explore November 12, 2009
Posted by aglakadam in career guidance and counselling, Children n Students, parenting.Tags: ability, बच्चो, belief, children, guidance, success, yuva
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Tare Jameen Pe was a thought revolution. Just think…
Today in 21st Century we have to run to stay where we are.. to move ahead we have to struggle our way amidst a huge set of challenges and obstacles…. Survival is a struggle in todays cut throat competitive world. One’s abilities and education are on real test of fitness as on date.
In such a scenario how often do we empathise with children having learning disabilities! Leave the world aside, even parent’s do not recognize this for their children…
I am of the opinion that children with learning disability deserve the same growth opportunities as any normal people have. Usually Children with learning disabilities do struggle with homework for obvious reasons. They might have retention problems or have difficulty with decoding words or calculating mathematical equations, but we should not forget that GOD had also gifted special ability to children with learning disability and that special ability is the way towards fame.
How can we forget Albert Einstein the Mathematician/Physicist who had a learning disability and did not speak until age 3. He had a very difficult time doing maths in school, but today he is known as “Father of Modern Physics”.
The only effort requires by us is try to become a teacher like Aamir khan (role played by him in “Tarre zameen Par”). Parents are require to motivate their child with learning disability for improving their Special ability and can make career in the same. Their special ability can either be in painting, singing, swimming, dancing or could be anything.
I appreciate to those producers’ directors who throw light on the issues of career for children with learning disability, now it’s our turn to make a career of “children with learning disability in their special ability”
Richa Gurwani / http://www.aglakadam.com // 1.59 am // 12.11.2009
Cruel teacher thanked by the parent’s November 3, 2009
Posted by aglakadam in Children n Students, Jara hut ke, parenting.Tags: teacher student psychology
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Shakespeare said in Othello : You have to be cruel to be kind… something of the same pattern happened in Bundi district of Uttar Pradesh, India.
Today’s newspaper reports that a student dumb by birth was hit by his school teacher just out of sheer anger ( since the student was not reading out A B C D… in his class) … As soon as the student was hit, he started speaking out… the dumb students parents have thanked the school teachers for being cruel and harsh.. doctors say it is more of a psychology subject.. we come across stories where people tend to loose & regain memories after some accident / shock.. the same fundamental works in this case as well.. may be..
However our cruel teacher got a reward out of his cruelty… though this does not happen as a law and hope this does not encourage more hitting to school students…
Ajit Varwandkar, http://www.aglakadam.com / 6.04 / 03.11.2009
आभार”एक महान दृष्टिकोण” October 30, 2009
Posted by aglakadam in parenting.Tags: आभार, बच्चो, parenting
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३०-१०-२००९ ,रायपुर
क्या अपने बच्चो को आपने किसी भी वस्तु ,काम , लोगो के प्रति आभार व्यक्त करना सिखाया है ?कहा जाता है आभार, “एक महान दृष्टिकोण बनाता है!” जब आप अपने बच्चों के साथ रात का खाना खा रहे हैं,तो आप उन को बताइए की उनका आज का दिन कितना अच्छा रहा ,और उसे अच्छा बनाने में किन किन लोगो का योगदान रहा ,फिर चाहे वो व्यक्ति उनका बॉस रहा हो ,जिसने उन्हें प्रमोशन की खबर बताई या फिर वो छोटू चाए वाला ,जिसने सही समय पर आपको लेमन टी पिलाई ,जिसके कारण आप annual मीटिंग में इतना अच्छा प्रदर्शन कर पाए और प्रमोशन आपको मिल गया .
.बरसो से क्रम चला आ रहा था की दिवाली की पहली गिफ्ट हमारे दूधवाले भैया,धोबी भैया ,जमादार भैया ,गार्ड भैया ,और बरसो पुरानी रुकमनी दीदी ,हमारे मोहन भैया ,शंकर भैया को दी जाती है,शायद इसके प्रति आभार व्यक्त करने की परम्परा रही है हमारी .हमे तो पता ही नहीं चला की कब बच्चो ने इसे आत्मसात कर लिया
बात धनतेरस के दिन की है ,देखा तो रिमझिम और फुहार दोनों ही सुबह सुबह अभंग स्नान कर के, दिया जला कर ,सामने रंगोली सजा कर गिफ्ट के पैकेट ले कर दूधवाले भैया का इंतजार कर रहे है,पूछने पर बोले की साल भर भैया, हमे इतना अच्छा गाय का दूध ला कर देते है, जिससे हमारी बुद्धि इतनी अच्छी चलती है .
ऐसा आप ही तो कहती हो न ?
और मुझे उस वकत एहसास हुआ की ,हाँ मेरी बताई बाते बेकार नहीं गयी और सबसे बड़ी बात वो गिफ्ट लेते और देते वकत बच्चो के चेहरे पर जो ख़ुशी थी और दूध वाले भैया की पनीली आँखों पर जो संतोष और आशीर्वाद था ,वो न जाने कभी भी बड़ी बड़ी कारपोरेट गिफ्ट्स लेते देते वकत मुझे कभी नजर ही नहीं आया ?
वर्षा वरवँड़कर,अगला कदम . कॉम,रायपुर
Use TRUST not SPIES to mentor your child … September 21, 2009
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There is a news that this Navratri, a lot of parents are going to keep a mobile watch on their kids! A large number of parents have dumped detective agencies or a software solution to their worries. They are paying as high as Rs.10000.00 per month to detective agencies for the job.
By installing a specific software in the cellphones of their children, the parents get alerts on the numbers dialled and calls received on the mobiles together with the content of messages received and sent from the device. ‘‘The parents are also alerted about the location of the child,’’
This, to my understanding, is the result of Bad Parenting which prompts Parents to get into Worst Parenting behaviours… After so many years of upbringing if you are so suspecious about you childs behaviour .. it speaks volumes about the Parent Child relation that has been nurtured ….
Trust is the foundation of all successful relations.
Where the is no Trust, there is no Truth… all evils then begin to germinate ….
Ajit Varwandkar, 21.09.09 / 6.08 pm / http://www.aglakadam.com
Shaping the students attitude at home September 16, 2009
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Yesterday I went to one school to address a group of students. While majority of the students were responsive. one of the student was showing a lot of attitude .. he looked very arrogant .. “I know it all” kind of approach.. the body language was hopeless.. he was not even sitting alert…
I tried to address him, involve him but he started getting more disengaged and offensive with time… I decided not to show focus on him any more..
the seminar concluded with lot of involvement of the other students .. the question answer session was very fruitful… though this young friend of mine was busy solving some sudoku on a sheet of paper .. I ignored anyway…
Before we departed … I wanted to know more about this student in discussion.. I was told that he belongs to a very affluent family …. the rich and the famous in the city …. & “he is like that only”.
Actually the family values and culture is mostly responsible in shaping the students attitude and approach …. Our society has a larger share of responsibility in shaping the youth of tomorrow. Parents can not distance themselves from this responsibility and I guess its high time the rich and capacitated guardians do their bit of contribution in shaping the “yuva attitude” …
Ajit Varwandkar
