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Your words can dig into your childs mindset June 7, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Children n Students, parenting.
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Success Byte :

Recently I read in the newspaper about a few students committing suicide since they could not secure decent grades in their 10th or 12th class school / board examinations. I was deeply grieved to read about such incidents. After all why does the child get into such a cowardly act? Why does the child give it up and withdraw from life all together? In my attempt to research for the reason behind this, I discussed the issue with a few parent and teachers. The reason behind such acts could be many and case specific. However one common finding is lack of right communication, which makes a deep impact in the child’s mindset.

To elucidate this I share a story here. Once a fortune teller ( an astrologer) landed in the durbar of King Akbar. The king had a very special habit, he would entertain the first visitor in his court with full devotion. If the visitor was a seeker and if the king was convinced with the query / problem presented by this seeker, he would go all out to assuage the petitioner. In case the visitor was an artist, he was given an opportunity to demonstrate the art in front of the nine ministers in the court ( often called navratna – the nine gems). The fortune teller had learned the art from his guru after investing long years of penance and sacrifice. He knew that the king was bighearted and rewarded the visitors benevolently. He was an honest person and wanted to meet the King in order to earn some riches in the form of reward. The king asked him to study the horoscope of all his family members and read his report card. He would be awarded with 100 gold coins if he gave a nice forecast. After doing the necessary calculations and in-depth analysis the fortune teller presented his prediction to the King : My Lord, “you will see the dead faces of all your family members.”… the king was shocked at such a harsh remark and went berserk. He was highly agitated and ordered the fortune teller to leave his kingdom in no time or else he would be relegated to the death chamber.

The fortune teller was scared to see the kings fury and ran out of the hall to escape any further castigation. He straightaway went to Birbal. Birbal was a minister known for his extreme intelligence. After listening to his story, Birbal asked the fortune teller to change his lookout and dress-up like a saint. This saint was then presented before the king the next day. Birbal informed the king that this saint was the best fortune reader in the region. The king was apprehensive and admonished the saint to speak good words and also be honest. This time the fortune teller, guised as a saint, read the horoscope in a different manner. He told the King, “My Lord, you are so lucky, you will have the longest life in the whole of your family!” The King was so happy he presented the saint with 100 gold coins and also many more gems!

Friends, in both the cases the prediction was the same, the manner in which it was communicated made all the difference. There is a hitopedesh in Sanskrit which says, “Sada satyam bhruyat, satyam api apriyam na bhruyat” This means always speak the truth; don’t speak the truth in a manner which would sound unpleasant to the listener. Adopting the proper communication strategy plays a very big role in leading an individual towards success or failure. This applies to schools and students as well.

Say for example, “when the student does not perform well in the class examination” what does most of the parent’s / teachers invariably tell her?

SET I :

The common reprimanding statements are :

1. You are a dumb fool / duffer?

2. You cannot even answer such an easy question paper?

3. You are a failure

4. It is so tough to teach you; you idiot.

5. You are a bad boy. Etcetera.

Such harsh words said by some of the teachers & parent’s make a long sketched indent in the minds of our students. In place of making such a communication I suggest the communication should be this way :

SET II :

1. You have to become still more intelligent.

2. You could have solved this easy question had you paid attention.

3. You are yet to be a winner.

4. I will make more efforts and try to be a better teacher.

5. You are not a good boy.

When you compare the statements in both the sets I & II above, the meaning conveyed by the statements are same but the set of words used is different. When such statements repeatedly hit the eardrums of the young generation they start getting a subconscious conviction about whatever is being communicated to them. When the repeated communication received is “you are a bad boy” ultimately the child gets convinced that yes, he is a bad boy. On the contrary if the repeated communication would have been “You are not a good boy” at least the aspirational longing of being good some day would have survived in the boys mind. Through this write-up I request all those who are parent’s and/or teacher’s in this society to be sanguine in their communications with children. You may forget what you said but the impact of your words would have already started precipitating in those innocent minds.

Do’s & Don’ts : • As a parent / teacher be very selective in using words, for they might become the judgment for the student. Think over it . Your words can dig into your child’s mindset, use those astutely.

Good to Read :

Pick of the week : “”Failure Is Not an Option” by Alan M. Blankstein “Failure Is Not an Option is a deeply inspiring and practical work. The book puts students first as a moral issue and then examines all the systems and processes that need to be in place to help them. In the book six practical and useful principles have been excellently articulated. A very inspiring book and can serve as a handbook for teachers and society for teaching learning process re-engineering. Any administrator who truly wishes to change his or her school can use this book as a manual from which to design every aspect of the change process.” (Robert W. Cole.). The book speaks to the spark of caring, generosity, and greatness in every child and provides caring adults with ideas and tools to unleash this potential. It leaves no part of the child behind, and leaves no adult on the sidelines.” (Maurice J. Elias, Professor of Psychology )

Feedback : Ajit Varwandkar ( Employability Coach)

Email : ajitvarwandkar@gmail.com

There is a “CAN” in Cancer April 17, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Motivation.
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 There is a “CAN” in Cancer

Did you notice? There is a very positive and a very powerful CAN fused inside the word ‘can’cer. Yuvaraj Singh is the most talked about sports icon as on date. This time not for the reason of the power of his bat but for the way he hurled the discomfort, of being diagnosed with cancer, outside the boundary. He has really proved it that one CAN win over the biggest hurdle in life, provided one has the will to look beyond. Yuvaraj Singh is not the only player who defeated cancer. Mathew Wade got hurt on the playground and was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 16. It was tough for him to believe that his injury was not the one which could be cured by way of medicines or at best an operation. He went through all kinds of possible treatments and it took him 2 years to float across the sea of sickness. At 19, Wade came back on field and started practicing cricket. Eventually he got into playing national level games. Today, after Adam Gilchrist and Brad Hydin, Mathew Wade is the most preferred choice as a wicket keeper in the Australian Cricket squad. Mathew Wade is now determined to represent the country in 2015 world cup. From cancer to international cricket has been possible for Wade only because of his strong willpower, unfathomable positive self belief and indefatigable self confidence.

Late Dr. Sharad Raghunath Ingle, when he was on the verge of retirement from his professional career as a Principle of a Government Science College, was diagnosed with lung cancer in its final stages. Within a week of being diagnosed with cancer, one lung had to be removed and he was immediately pushed into the laps of chemotherapists and radiologists. Two months ordeal dealing with the disease did not put him into any apparent dis-ease at all. Dr. Ingle rejoined his college for a few weeks before retirement and in his first address to students he narrated the benefits of being diagnosed with cancer! Yes you read it right : BENEFITS from Cancer. The list he presented could be a prescription only from a man with exceptionally positive outlook. A few items from the illustrative list are :

* Benefits from Indian Railways for Cancer patients, discounted tickets, free travel for attendants etc.
* Sympathies and empathies visit your house in truck loads; You rarely have to purchase fruits!
* You get priority when standing in long queues.
* Your long lost relatives pay you a visit and relations get rejuvenated.
* You get to know yourself better since you start communicating with yourself more.
* You finish doing things you always wanted to do in life but somehow either procrastinated or hesitated doing those.

Post retirement Dr. Ingle started counseling & care services for cancer patients and their relatives. A teacher in him was always keen to educate. He used to teach them how to not to address sufferings. Cancer is just another disease and like one treats a blood pressure or a sugar, similarly one is required to take care of his physique and manages heath. At the time when he was diagnosed with cancer, doctors were not sure if he might survive for a few days or weeks! Good news is Dr. Ingle enjoyed every moment of his life for the next five years!

Your attitude plays the biggest role in addressing your issues. I read a quotation on the front door of a physician which said, “I will be able to cure you only if you believe in me”. You need to imbibe an extremely positive self belief even in the most difficult situations. Unfortunately belief is lost when it is required the most. This is a vital charachter which should be taught to us in early childhood. As a child we get taught certain wrong lessons by parent’s, though unintentional but sometimes fetal. When a kid lands up in a difficult situation elders invariably rush to get her out into a safe zone. This sounds humanly desirable but at times children should also be allowed to take on difficulties on their own. Parent’s cannot be life time guardians and life will not be smooth always. Sometimes hurdles are just unavoidable. Say for example if you are on your way to work / school and you meet with an accident. This might be a completely unavoidable state of affair. If you are stuck into an unfair and most unlikely situation, the first thing you need to do is to accept the situation as it is. Crying over an unhappy and uncalled for situation has never helped anyone to transcend. Once the total acceptance sinks in, you are then better prepared to look for solutions. Accepting a tough situation should not be confused with surrendering to it. While surrender is the end of efforts, acceptance is a new beginning.

Yuvaraj Singh had the access to the best of the medical care but it would not have been possible for him to come back cured if he had zero stock of belief. On the backdrop of such hero’s and warriors who fight strongly and win over the most challenging ordeals in life I look at common man who gets into the garbage of depression just on the knock of minor ailments! People are as strong as they think they could be. Excessive emotional indulgence into an ailment makes one weak. The only alternate is to take on the disease logically and pursue with ambitions in life emotionally. Let the right brain not know what the left brain is dealing with. If you think you CAN, even a cancer will not stop you from getting your dreams fulfilled, the need is to believe that you CAN and hence You MUST!

LESSONS FOR EXCELLENCE :

•A disease should be looked at only as a roadblock, not the end to it.
•An unsurmountable courage is the first tool to deal with difficulties.
•Irrespective of constrains if you CAN think “I CAN”, you WILL.
•It pays to be an optimist, be so always.
•If it is to be it is up to me to do it!

Feedback : Ajit Varwandkar

Email : md@fsindia.in

 

FOR MORE INSPIRATION : PLEASE READ :

1. You can still win …. http://bit.ly/zTLuXB

2. It’s possible to get what you want� http://bit.ly/z3QmOF

 

Current Success is always Small February 18, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Children n Students, Management.
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Current Success is always Small

National Talent Search Examination, popularly known as NTSE, has always been an aspiration mark for school students. Recently results were declared for the first level examination of NTSE 2011. Approximately 13,000 students appeared for this test in Chhattisgarh. My daughter Mahima, who is a Class VIII student at Krishna Public School Raipur also appeared for this examination and secured a slot in the first 90 odd students to get through. We all in the family were overwhelmed with this success and surely this was an occasion for celebration.

Immediately after the results we went to meet the director of her school, Mr. Ashutosh Tripathi to convey our gratitude for extending the best academic support. He was elated with his student’s success and it was all showing on his face. He luxuriously lauded Mahima for the feet and expressed his happiness in smile studded words of praise. His words of wisdom were highly inspirational. What came thereafter from his coffer of knowledge is absolutely rich and valuable life skill. I take this opportunity to share his success sutras with all the readers of “The Hitavada”.

One step of praise and two stages of admonition was his strategy. Suddenly after the dose of appreciation the director made us wary and suggested no party for this success. We all were surprised, why no party when there is such a relevant occasion to celebrate! To elucidate further, Mr. Tripathi shared two success secrets with Mahima :

  1. Remember this for lifetime that “current success is always small”

                      &

  1. Make success a habit.

These are so powerful advises I feel every person on the universe should take cognizance of it. Let’s try and understand the depth of these sutra’s. Qualifying for NTSE Level is a recognizable achievement though it is just half the way through. The ultimate victory happens when the student qualifies in the final (national) level examination! Being selected in the first stage and becoming eligible for appearing in the national level NTSE examination is similar to having qualified in the league matches before the semi finals and the final match. When you have a larger goal in front of you, it is a vital success habit to always consider the current success to be small. Current success should be used as an inspiration to achieve bigger victories. Current success should enable an individual to steer aggressively towards higher goals.

It surly makes sense to target partying at a higher achievement point and not get complacent by celebrating the smaller success. Success at every stage should be treated as an investment bank account. To en-cash the current success you should only withdraw confidence from the bank of success.  Where is the time to rest when there are bigger challenges to test! A cricket enthusiast once asked Sachin Tendulkar “How do you celebrate every six that you hit in a match?” Came the reply, “I celebrate by focusing on the next incoming ball!”

Success breeds success. Getting habituated to success is good but getting into the habit of failure is worst! One should have the passion to be successful. When you do not make success as a natural tendency it becomes tough to align the mindset even when you are close to success. Here is an illustration from the world of cricket to put forth the point. The national cricket team of Bangladesh was in a phase of poor performance. They had lost a few matches in a row and the overall moral was very low in the team. At such a juncture they had to play a match with the then world champion Australia. To the shock and surprise of the cricketing world one new find bowler in the Bangladesh team spelled doom for the rival batsmen. The Aussies somehow managed to be at the crease at stumps. In the evening television journalist interviewed both the captain’s. The Aussie captain said, “To be in the game and to WIN it we will have to add 250 more runs tomorrow”. In the same interview the Bangladesh team’s captain said, “ we will have to ensure that we take all the wickets before lunch if we have to save this match!      Pl re-read the words… “if we have to save this match”!!! Where is the question of saving a match when you are in a favorable match winning situation? What went wrong with the Bangladesh team was that they got habituated to loosing matches. Due to this negative habit they missed to recognize the visiting victory. On the contrary the Australian team was in the winning habit and even in a stressful situation they were thinking of victory!

We all know that it takes no time for the current to become past. With every passing moment, the current success tacitly gets buried into history and future unfolds with more demands for success. Winning should then become a way of life. We should allow our thoughts and design our actions to be governed by the habit of success.

Lessons for Excellence :

  • Like failure, success should also not be counted as final
  • Milestones of smaller success should never tempt you to rest till you achieve the bigger targets.
  • Make wining a habit and you will never get distracted on the way.
  • Current success should lay the carpet to welcome the next success.
  • Always think success, to achieve success.

Feedback : Ajit Varwandkar

Email : md@fsindia.in

You cannot re-listen the spoken words February 15, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Inspirational Story, Management.
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You cannot re-listen the spoken words

A police officer in a city stopped a motorcyclist who was speeding down the cricket stadium. “But sir,” the motorist begged, “I can explain the reason why I was driving fast…” “Will you please be silent?,” snapped the police officer. “I’m going to put you behind the bar until the commissioner is in here at the police station.” “But sir, I only wanted to say that …,” rebuffed the police man : “dear I asked you to keep mum! You’re going to jail and that’s for sure!”  

A few hours later the police officer looked into the innocent eyes of the prisoner and said, “Did you know there is a marriage hall on the way where you were driving so fast? There were children playing near the hall and with your speed you might have surely hurt someone.” The lamenting man replied from behind the iron grill, “Yup, I know it the best, actually I’m the groom!”

Good listeners always give others a chance to speak. They allow the communication to happen.  A good listener has a huge amount of patience. We all might have observed at one time or the other that people tend not to have the patience to listen till the end. You start telling some story and chances are that half way through someone might barge into the communication stating he also experienced something similar once upon a time and start narrating that experience. Not listening is one of the biggest barrier to communication. Anger is the first enemy of good listening while impatience is the second.  Many of life’s failures and tragedies happen because we cease to listen.

Here is one more example. Ramesh’s boss, was known to be a hard task master in office. Once he was instructing his subordinate on some business issue. Ramesh actually had more updates about the subject matter and hence tried to interrupt his boss with that information but was harshly rubbished by him. In spite of his best intervention efforts the facts could not be communicated to his boss. Ramesh was compelled to work as per the imperfect directions of his boss. Eventually the strategy proposed by his boss failed and the plan backfired. The company had to incur loss. A post loss repent does never correct the past. Unfortunately there is no undo command for not listening!  

Those who can listen and comprehend can only be successful in life.  Listening is different to hearing. You ‘hear’ sound which might not make any sense to you. You hear noise, you listen words. Noise might not have any sense while words have the power to move the world! Listening is an art inherited by the wise. It is one of the most primitive arts learned by mankind. It helps individual to connect with other people and the world. When you listen properly you pay attention.

Listening is also about caring. Children grow up and parents grow older, what does an old parent need from its progeny?  A patient listening can many a times ease of high levels of accumulated stress.  You need to be a very good listener if you wish to become a good parent, a good spouse, a good teacher, a good boss or a spiritual person. Listening breeds result when caring follows it because you care only when you empathise with the other person. You can empathize only when you listen properly.

Think of a seriously ill patient lying on the bed by your side. What do you think the patient needs the most? Nothing but an attentive listening is desired by the patient. Just try to recall what did you share with your friend when the friend lost a near and dear one? The friend was upset and very sad, actually crying a lot. At such times and caring ear is what maximum can be offered by any human being.

You cannot re-listen the spoken words, hence it is better to listen it right the first time. When you pay attention to what is being said you actually give the most precious reward to the speaker.  Sometimes inspite of having listened properly you do not get the right meaning of the words. On such occasions one should request for elucidation. You are listening only when your heart is in synchronization with the rhythm pouring in from the ear.

Are you listening?

 Lessons for Excellence :

  • Learn to listen, not just hear or else you might miss out on the essence of life.
  • Always give full opportunity to the other person to speak out before you take a decision.
  • Listening properly is a mandatory ingredient for being successful.
  • Those who do not listen thoroughly, repent later.
  • Each one of us should learn to be a good listener.

Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

Stress is the shadow of wrong imagination February 6, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Management.
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Imagine this situation: 

You are in a happy holiday mood. You plan to have a joyful day with your family as such you decide to go on a long drive. You start driving your car on a highway where there is almost no traffic. You are tempted to explore the odometer and you press hard on the accelerator. The madness of speed invariably brings obnoxious consequences. As you approach a traffic signal square, you do not stop at the ‘red traffic signal’ but zip past it since there is no other car on either side of the four-way.  All of a sudden you get alerted by the sound of a police car siren. You see in the rear view mirror that the police car is approaching you at a still faster pace. You know that you have just committed a mistake and somehow the traffic police might have taken a note of it. The police car is at a distance where it would soon overtake you and ask you to stop. You feel stress mounting inside. You start imagining the consequences. What if you do not stop and rush at a still faster pace? Oh but the police might ask for more troops to stop me at the next turn! If they ask me to stop, I should obey them, says your inner voice. I am sure I will be fined for trespassing the traffic rule as well as for the rash driving. Oh God, please help me, they should not take me to the police station, I have no wrong intentions for sure. Your heart rate has increased and the effect seen as sweat drops on your forehead. You loose focus on the road and you’re only concentrated on the incoming harassment from behind. By now the police van is almost parallel to you. You have already started feeling very low, restless and insecure. Suddenly what happens is unbelievable for you. The police over took your car and went ahead,  probably they were chasing a different target. Oops, all the while you were thinking that the police was running after you!

When there is ‘terror alert’ announced by the intelligence agencies, the overall administration & police is on its toes. What happened with you in the above illustration was something similar, your mental mechanism was all of a sudden put on high alert. There was a temporary phase of worry, stress and shock for you. Did you realize that all this was fictitious and hypothetical? Nothing of what you had imagined was actually true? You were not the target of the police van and they never intended to put you behind bars. However it was you who negatively extrapolated the imaginary consequences and started palpitating.

Can you get back to the first few words of the above imaginary situation. You were in a happy welcome mood which eventually translated into anxious and nervous state of affair for you. All this happened only because of you. It was you who instigated the negative thoughts in your mental backdrop. The world outside was the same even when you started the day in a happy mood and when you got into the stressful situation.

I share yet another situational example for you here. There was one family which was on to start a holiday tour. They had to board the train at a particular scheduled time known to them in much advance. Due to certain household chores they got delayed to start from home. Unfortunately for them, that day, the train was scheduled to arrive on time. Father – mother and their kids were tight-fisted and had their fingers crossed while they were rushing to the railway station in the car. The angry husband was all the way shouting at his wife & scolding her for being slow in arranging travel preparations. Although they intended to be on a holiday mood their journey started with stress. The poor children were close-lipped somehow wanting that they should be able to board the train. Finally, it was a touch and go situation and they somehow managed to get into the train. Friends, wasn’t it true that even if the gentleman had not behaved in a stressful manner they would have been able to board the train? What actually happened was the head of the family imagined all negative consequences and got stressed out. 

We get exposed to similar situations many times in our daily life. In the process we sometimes unnecessarily invite a lot of stress and sadness into our life. The difference between stress and sorrow lies in the man’s perception. When you think bad, you feel bad. When you start feeling bad, it turns out to be worst for you personally.  Stress is like friction, it is a necessary evil.  Elementary level of stress is in-fact necessary for human being to survive. Stress is an energy & enthusiasm catalyst. It provokes a person to get into action mode and perform. Like you can store only a limited volume of fuel in your vehicle, human body is also designed to store a limited quantum of stress. As the stress grows more than the defined limit, it starts spilling and warns danger. It is our responsibility to disallow stress to walk along our life as soon as it becomes a liability. Finally it is our judgment to decide till what stage we would allow Mr. Stress to walk along with us in our journey of life!

LESSONS FOR EXCELLENCE :

  • Never allow stress to be blown out of proportion because of unrealistic imaginations.
  • Stress is like a small stone found under the shadow of a huge mountain.
  • Invariably stress is created inside the human mind, it should be cured there itself.
  • We should learn to be good to stress and in return stress will always be good to us.
  • A basic amount of stress is must for us to excel in our ventures in life.

 

Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

What not to miss on Basant Panchami January 28, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in aglakadam, Life and all.
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Think wise and become beautiful

 

Today is Basant Panchami – a festival celebrated to the worship of Goddess of knowledge and learning, Mother Saraswati. In today’s write-up let’s get acquainted with the significance of this festival through the props as we see in the pictures of Goddess. Mythological portraying of Goddess Saraswati depicts her as a woman wearing white colour dress ornamented with white pearls while she is sitting on a white lotus. She holds white colour flowers in her hands and she holds a string-instrument called Veena.

 

The White Colour :

 

The most prominent feature in the Goddess’s portrait is the white colour. White embodies faith and signifies success. A white flag represents peace and truce. White means safety and usually has a positive connotation. White is associated with hospitals, doctors, and sterility.   A colour indicating transcendence, a new-born child is usually wrapped in a white colour dress and when the soul departs it is also covered in a white coffin.

 

In profession and business, white is associated with transparence, fair play, cleanliness and simplicity. It’s the color of snow and demonstrates cool temperament. White is an open canvass for unlimited imaginations; angels ( paris) in stories for children are usually imagined wearing white clothes.  In management parlance we differentiate jobs basis colours. The nomenclature goes like this white collar jobs, blue collar jobs etc.  White collar work means a high level of education and a flashy job profile. A job that might need formal attire and would fetch high salaries.

 

White is associated with goodness, purity and is considered to be the color of perfection. White is the colour of truth and wisdom. It is the wise who wins and the successful  is one who has power. With so much of a significance to this colour, the Goddess of wisdom inspires us to acquire eternal knowledge and divine wisdom.

 

The Lotus : 

 

Lotus is a spiritual symbol in various cultures across the world . In Hindu, Buddhist and Egyptian religions, the lotus is considered a sacred flower.  It is a symbol of growth, continuity. It also represents life  and its buds symbolizes unyielding potential.

 

We all know the proverb that a lotus blooms in marsh.  A symbol of purity and resurrection the lotus blossoms pure from within untidy waters. Spiritually speaking the human journey transacts from a contaminated world of thoughts to the enlightened state of oneness. In the same way as the lotus flower goes through its growth phases : emerges from dirty water to become a beautiful flower.

 

To the common man this flower suggests success under difficult situations. Your current circumstances do not decide your success or failure. In fact it is your current state of mindset which defines the future course of your life. Think wise and become beautiful. The lotus makes its way through water and rises above its surface with glory. It remains in water but is not incapacitated by it.  You might have been born to poor parents or you might find yourself in the state of a mess but as the lotus suggests, you surely have the chance to bring out and see the beauty of victory.

 

 

Hamsa (The Swan) & the Peacock :-  

 

Goddess Saraswati is portrayed sitting along with a white swan on one side and a peacock on the other.  A white swan represents purity and an uncompromising attitude for virtues.  It is known to have a tremendous amount of discriminating power. The swan’s beak is very sensitive – it can even separate the milk from water. A lesson to be learned is to learn to  discriminate the right from the wrong and always be on the correct path. On the contrary the bird Peacock is profusely influenced by weather conditions & shows versatile swings in its moods. It dances in ecstasy when the spring beacons and it cries in agony when it is separated from its mate.

 

The Swan represents the head and the peacock indicates the heart. Goddess Saraswati teaches the human beings to keep a perfect balance between the head and heart. It educates us to lead an emotionally intelligent lifestyle.

 

The Veena –

 

This sitar like instrument symbolizes harmony in life. The music of life will sound melodious only when it is in rhythm. It is basically the music inside our mind which soothes us and not what we listen through our ears. It is the cumulative sound created by our thoughts and actions which create the music in our universe.

 

Whatever we feel delivers sorrow or happiness. We become what we think. The veena with Goddess prescribes us to be in sync with positive and powerful thoughts. Let the music of success play inside your soul, only then you will be able to attain it practically.

 

The Book :-

 

A  book in the hands of Goddess does not just underline the importance of acquiring knowledge it also admonishes us to learn to assimilate as much information as we can. This is the internet world and information is power. In order to be successful it is imperative to always be online with the latest in technology and wisdom.

 

On this day of Basant Panchami I pray to the goddess to bless the complete humanity with the divine wisdom, success and greatest happiness.

 

By : Ajit Varwandkar

 

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

परीक्षा की तैयारी January 23, 2012

Posted by aglakadam in Children n Students, parenting.
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परीक्षा का मनोविज्ञान

परीक्षा मतलब पर +  इच्छा

–परीक्षा में हमेशा दूसरे व्यक्ति  की ही इच्छा का महत्व रहता है ,बच्चे साल भर पढते है ,लेकिन पेपर कोई दूसरा बनाता है ओर जांचता भी है   कोई और |परीक्षा का भय तो ऐसा है कि बड़े बड़े व्यक्ति भी परीक्षा के नाम से भागते है |अगर हम परीक्षा के मनोविज्ञान को समझने की कोशिश करे तो हम पाते है कि एक नियत समय में ,साल भर की पढाई की जाँच सिर्फ तीन घंटे में की जाएगी |तो इस     समय में जरुरी है कि बच्चे अपना आत्म विश्वास बनाये रखे और एकदम शांत और संतुलित रह कर परीक्षा की तैयारी करे| परीक्षा का तनाव क्या होता है ?यह सवाल आप किसी भी छात्र से करे ,तो उसके हिसाब से दुनिया का सबसे बड़ा तनाव यही है पूरे साल मेहनत की है .पर अब हताश हो रहे है |पता नहीं क्या होगा ?  अब जबकि परीक्षाएं करीब आ चुकी हैं और कुछ ही दिन शेष रह गएँ हैं,स्वाभाविक है  कि बच्चों  और पालकों में  उत्सुकता ,घबराहट  एवं तनाव की स्तिथियाँ निर्मित हो जाती हैं | वैसे तो कम वक़्त बचा हो और लम्बा रास्ता तय करना हो तो वाहन चालक को गति बढ़ानी  पढ़ती है , मगर यह सावधानी भी रखनी पढ़ती है कि कहीं एक्सीडेंट न हो जाए | यह भी पक्का कर लेना होता है कि उतनी क्षमता है जितनी से आप उसे चलाना चाहते हैं | समय कम बचा है और कोर्स ज्यादा, ऐसेमें क्या करें और क्या न करें यह एक अहम विषय होता    है|

और अगर यह बोर्ड परीक्षा है ,तो तनाव होना असामान्य बात नहीं है |लेकिन कुछ बातो का ध्यान रख कर बच्चे तनाव से बच सकते है और अपनी परीक्षा में अच्छा प्रदर्शन कर सकते है

<क्या करें छात्र

1*परीक्षा के लिए लक्ष्य तय करना जरूरी है। अपनी क्षमता देखकर ही अपना लक्ष्य तय करें। वरना बाद में निराशा होगी। अगर आप 9वीं कक्षा तक 65 प्रश अंक लेकर पास होते रहे हैं तो अपना लक्ष्य भी 65 से 75 प्रश अंकों का ही रखें। 85 या 90 प्रश अंकों का लक्ष्य रखने से आप भटक जाएँगे।

2* ध्यान रहे, लगातार कई घंटों तक पढ़कर कोई बच्चा अच्छे अंक प्राप्त नहीं कर सकता। किताबी कीड़ा बनने की जरूरत नहीं। पढ़ाई के साथ थोड़ा समय बाकी कामों के लिए भी निकालें। परीक्षा के वक़्त तनाव होना जरूरी भी है, लेकिन इतना नहीं की पढ़ा हुआ याद ही न हो पाए| हर स्टुडेंट्स का अपना बॉडी क्लोक होता है | किसी को रात में पढना  अच्छा लगता है, तो किसी को सुबह | आप भी अपना बॉडी क्लोक समझे और उसके अनुसार काम करें | यह सोचकर कभी नहीं पढ़े कि आपका दोस्त ज्यादा देर तक पढ़ता है, आप तो बस यह सोचे की आप कब तक पढ़ सकतें हैं ? 45  से 50  मिनट लगातार पढ़ने के बाद 5  से 10 मिनट का ब्रेक जरूर लें |

3* सुबह की सैर के साथ-साथ थोड़ा-बहुत व्यायाम व खेलकूद भी जरूरी है। इससे शरीर को नई चुस्ती-फुर्ती मिलती है, जो कि शारीरिक व मानसिक विकास के लिए बहुत जरूरी है।

4* मनोरंजन हमारे जीवन का जरूरी हिस्सा है। परीक्षा के दिनों में मनोरंजन का समय घटा दें, लेकिन खुद को मनोरंजन की दुनिया से पूरी तरह अलग न करें। थोड़ा समय निकालकर हल्का-फुल्का संगीत, हल्की-फुल्की कॉमेडी फिल्म या धारावाहिक अवश्य देखें। याद रखें की मनोरंजन का समय खाने में नमक की तरह होनी चाहिए, न तो बहुत ज्यादा न बहुत कम | शरीर के लिए 6 घंटे की नींद बहुत जरूरी है | इसलिए शरीर को प्रोपर रेस्ट भी दें

5* अगर माता-पिता ने आपके सामने बहुत कठिन लक्ष्य रख दिया है, आपको लगता है कि आप उसे हासिल नहीं कर पाएँगे, तो उनसे स्पष्ट शब्दों में कहें कि आप कोशिश करेंगे लेकिन आपकी क्षमता से यह लक्ष्य बड़ा है। अगर वे फिर भी उसे बार-बार आप पर थोपते हैं तो इसे इज्जत का   प्रश्न न बनाएँ। धैर्यपूर्वक उतना करें, जितना आप कर सकते हैं। अनावश्यक तनाव न पालें।

 6  *     स्टुडेंट्स परीक्षा के तनाव को कम करें और सकारात्मक सोच  अपनाएं | परीक्षा को अब कम ही समय रह गया है | ऐसे में किसी नए चैप्टर कि शुरुआत करने कि बजाय, जो पढ़ा है, उसे ही अच्छे से पढ़ें | पढ़ाई के साथ ही खान – पान का भी बराबर ध्यान दें |    लाख समझाने पर भी स्टुडेंट्स के मन में परीक्षा को लेकर तनाव तो रहता ही हैं | इस स्थिति में दिमाग को ज्यादा ऑक्सिजन कि जरुरत होती है, जो उचित खानपान से ही संभव है |

  खाना  सिर्फ दो  बार न  खाकर कुछ अंतराल में कई बार में खाएं | हर एक घंटे में पानी जरूर पियें और अंगूर, सेब, मुनक्का, मूंगफली, संतरा, सोयाबीन, पालक, खजूर, शहद और गुढ़ भी खाएं | मसालेदार खाने से बचें |

चिंता करें, लेकिन इतनी नहीं कि सब कुछ भूल जाएँ | पढ़ाई को यदि बोझ समझेंगे, तो कभी सार्थक फल नहीं मिलेगा

7** अगर आप तनाव में हैं या फिर आपको किसी तरह की घबराहट या बेचैनी हो रही है तो जल्दी ही घर के किसी सदस्य को या फिर करीबी मित्र को बताएँ। अगर आपको लगता है कि आपकी बात कोई नहीं सुनेगा तो किसी हेल्पलाइन पर फोन करें। वे आपका मार्गदर्शन करेंगे। परीक्षा के दिनों में बच्चों के लिए विशेष हेल्पलाइन शुरू की जाती हैं। इनकी जानकारी सभी अखबारों में मिल जाती है।

 8*पढाई करते वक्त अपने टेबल में   – स्माईल के साथ पढाई करें, ऐसा करने से मस्तिष्क में ब्लड सरकुलेशन तेज हो जाता हैं | दिमाग और मन दोनों ही आपके नियंत्रण में रहते हैं और वह दोगुनी तेजी से काम करेंगे | जब हम खुश होतें हैं तो सब कुछ अच्छा लगता है | इसी तरह परीक्षा को  भी ख़ुशी - ख़ुशी लें | यह समझे कि सालभर जो कुछ सिखा है उसे दिखाने का समय आ गया है अगर फिर भी मन न माने तो तो दिल पर हाथ रखे और बोले आल इज वेल |

वर्षा अजित वरवंडकर,

मनोवैज्ञानिक करियर सलाहकार ,

अगलाकदम .काम,रायपुर  ,98261-32982

For SUCCESS : commitment is more important than speed January 21, 2012

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FROG in the milk pond

Efforts never die

Your commitment is more important than your speed

I retell the story of a few frogs which lived their life happily near a dairy farm. Once while they were in search of food, a few of them inadvertently jumped into a milk bucket. Milk bath was an entirely new experience for these frogs. Eventually they realized that the side walls were too slippery and it was not possible for them to jump out of the vat. They could do nothing but to swim around hoping for some help. They were unaware of the fact that help comes to those who try a way out on their own first.

God helps those who help themselves. Almost all the frogs that

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

In the journey to success, your commitment is more important than your speed.

 Ajit Varwandkar

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

Kites fly highest against the wind, not with the wind January 14, 2012

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Lessons from Kite

Kites fly high against the wind

When we see thousands of kites flying in the air demonstrating a kaleidoscope of patterns, shapes & colors, it surely spreads pure happiness and rejuvenation in the air. The galaxy of kites put you in an awe and you think if life could get any better? A deeper look into the sight of kites soaring high into the sky can instigate spirituality and give you lessons in life. It’s really amazing to know what a kite can teach us. If we are open to get lessons, anything around us can teach us – even a kite!  I summarize few lessons that can be driven out of this festival of kites.

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ………………………………………  Ajit varwandkar                                            

Feedback : md@fsindia.in

PS. An appeal : It has been found that some birds get killed by the string of the kite. Request all not to apply sharp edge materials to the kite string. This might harm a bird. Also fly a kite in such open areas where the birds are less likely to fly low.

Nick Vujicic Lessons – Prick the fog of disbelief January 11, 2012

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Prick the fog of disbelief

aglakadam.com

Nick Cijicic Lessons

We all come across problems in our work and life. In most of the cases it is not convenient for us to bypass these disruptions and ride further on a smoother track. You can only avoid difficulties by facing it. In the journey of life there would surely be potholes and roadblocks on the way. It is best to treat roadblocks as perseverance enhancers and not as demoralizer. Smooth roads never make efficient drivers, rough roads do. The path to success has to be crafted on one such terrain ahead. An impasse on road should never be considered as a failure or a dead-end.  

…………………..  Complete write-up in my forthcoming book…. for announcement on the book title and launch, pl keep visiting www.aglakadam.com  ……………………………………… 

 

  • Love living life always and embrace any impediment whatsoever may be with belief.
  • “The challenges in our lives are there to STRENGTHEN our CONVICTIONS. They are NOT there to run us over.”

Ajit Varwandkar

Email : md@fsindia.in

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